I (32m) haven’t had sex in 5 months and it’s driving me insane. Never been in a relationship and mostly had sex with prostitutes. Self pleasing myself is getting old and have to be high to even enjoy doing it. Women are just to complicated to talk to and get with. I’ve almost just given up on them completely and accepted being single for life as I am about to be 33yo in a couple months with no optimism of that changing ever. So yeah if there is anyone in the same boat that possibly has social anxiety and loneliness let me know how you cope.
Is it really sex or rather intimacy, closeness and lack of gentle human touch that is driving you crazy?
Sex. Screw intimacy it’s no even gonna happen
if you just want sex, i hear there’s lots of people looking for hookups on grindr.
Got banned from Grindr and this other site has been a joke too that I joined. Sucks men are the only ones that will have random easy sex with
Hey, so, uh, you have some misogynist brainworms you’re definitely going to need to work through.
It’s very, very clear from the way you write that you view women as a confusing monolith, as though every woman is the same as every other woman and you just don’t understand the “cheat codes” to get women to have sex with you.
But that point of view is extremely incorrect. Women are people. Just like you. “Women” don’t want to be chased, some women do (and likely fewer than you think, actually, and also, there are men you want to be chased, even though societally we never hear about them). “Women” aren’t complicated to talk to, some women are difficult to talk to for the same reasons some men are difficult to talk to!
Women aren’t a particular way, any more than men are a particular way, and if you treat women as a separate species to you, if you treat them as a monolithic confusing enigma, rather than as people, you will definitely struggle to have decent relationships with them.
So be it. I’ll just be single for life and have to start paying hookers again and waste my hard earned money for a hoe to make fast money
Or, and hear me out here, you practice seeing women as people, thereby improving your quality of life and your ability to have friendships with all different sorts of people.
I do see them as people and that just ends up with me being friendzoned with regular women
Is it not worth it for you to be friends with a woman? Is such a friendship worthless? What’s the problem with being friends with women?
Don’t get sex out of it and have to see them get whoever else they want to be with
Sounds like you never wanted to be friends, just fuck them.
So these were never real friendships on your part? You only care about these women if they have sex with you and any time you spend with them that isn’t leading to sex is wasted?
I don’t have woman friends cuz all they do is start drama
Thanks for taking the time to try and give useful advise. I think it’s lost on this one, sadly
Physical activity. Go play a sport. Get platonically sweaty with a bunch of other people. I found that helped. Hanging out with people sort of worked for me as well, but not to the same degree.
If you’re in a social leagues, you might even be able to meet someone.
I’d echo what others have said: if you’re having difficulty forming and maintaining romantic relationships, you might want to try therapy or some deep introspection.
You probably need to do some self reflection and examine your feelings towards women as to why you have those views. Have you considered therapy to help you with these feelings?
Regarding coping without sex, for me it was always more the physical and emotional contact than sex itself. Hugs with friends and family help. Maybe something like a massage (not necessarily a happy ending) could help, having someone else pay attention to you and the physical touch with another human might help.
Yeah human touch from a woman ain’t gonna happen if it hasn’t already at this point. Women wanna be chased and that’s just not happening. I’m not going to be thirsty about it. I’ll just try to refocus my relationship with God and only care about myself, family, and friends as women are pointless to try doing anything with if money isn’t involved to get sex
Obvious troll is obvious
😂
I’m almost sorry to be blunt, but…
Women don’t want to be chased. You’re a misogynist who has reduced women to “people to have sex with” in your own mind.
If you change that, you gain the possibility of actual connections, including intimacy, with them; if you don’t, you don’t. Either way it’s up to you if you want the status quo to continue or to improve.
I don’t want intimacy as it just leads to being hurt anyway and used
Fear of intimacy will stop you from finding relationships that do not revolve around hurt and use. You will find one with time.
Glad you’re optimistic about it and you don’t even know me
As a woman in a relationship, I certainly don’t want to be chased (neither did I want it before the relationship started). I’m more attracted to people that treat me as a person, not as a fuck object. View it like this.
Would you want someone to have a relationship with you only because you’re rich? Or because you’re a good person? True love is not what is centered around your body or what you have, but who you are.
Friendship is a good way. It sounds paradoxical, but letting go of the idea of needing a partner and accepting that, makes you find a partner much quickier. It’s how most of my guy friends found theirs. You can achieve it, but God will not help you.
Sounds like an Atheist talking
I’m Christian. Like I said, you should not judge too hastily, and you did.
God will definitely help me in all aspects of my life if I dedicate myself to him
I dunno, God didn’t help my grandfather from not having to witness people getting shot by the Nazis. Priests that rape little children also don’t terribly help with life.
Faith helps more with combatting fear of your own death. But it won’t help you with getting laid.
Pray harder and maybe the incel-ness will go away?
and it’s driving me insane.
Sex is overrated. A lot. Like pears. It is nice when you have some in the kitchen, but you won’t care if you don’t.
Nah it’s definitely not overrated one bit
Our society over-values sex, but there’s a pretty hefty biological component as well. Bodies want what they want. Different people feel it to different degrees at different times of their life.
I don’t know your full story, but a skim through your posts makes it feel like you have some internal things you need to address, and I mean that in a helpful way.
You really sound like you would want to have a partner, but you seem to be chasing symptoms and not core issues.
I’d recommend reading some of today’s thread on overcoming incel-like behavior. I shared a bunch of my personal story on there in BodePlotHole’s reply, and reading that and some other comments in there might be of real value to you.
That’s about all the help any of these posts are going to get you, and most of it is not bad advice. There’s no quick-fix other than the stuff you’re already getting burnt out of trying. You’re going to have to put in real work and take yourself seriously if you want to get out of this hole you’re in and find a happier life.
Again, not here to lecture you, do what you want, but I think your solution is fixing you, not continuing to ignore things and smooth them over temporarily with prostitutes and substances.
You deserve a medal. I couldn’t even imagine responding to this post without speaking down to OP, so I opted to move on. Thank you for giving the advice he needs to hear and not sounding like a cunt about it they way I would have.
I don’t like when people trash the OP in cases like this. Sometimes they are trolls or attention seekers, but at least at first, everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. I appreciate you not crapping on him. He already has that covered, and more certainly isn’t going to fix him.
I only got out of my own mess because enough people were patient with me. If I can give some of that back, that’s just me passing some of that grace I was given forward.
I will work on myself not that it has ever done anything before and it’s just pointless even trying with women anymore tbh
not that it has ever done anything before and it’s just pointless even trying with women anymore tbh
This is part of the problem. This is a part of you that you need to work on. If you don’t change your mindset you’re going to bring it with you into all of your interactions with women and it will poison them.
I understand the hopelessness, but you have to pull yourself out of it.
Every day gives you another chance. It’s really freaking hard when you’re down in a hole like this. That’s why I said to check out that other post. Many of us have been in similar spots. We’re here to help, but we can’t give you answers cuz we aren’t you. You need to work every day to find what does work for you.
There’s no secret to being liked by women. It’s the same as being liked by anyone. You have to be someone likeable, not just fake likeable, and it starts with valuing yourself enough to lift yourself out of the mental place you are at. This is like anything else, you got to build from the bottom up with a strong foundation.
2.8 billion-ish adult women on this planet. Even with all of the internet porn you’ve seen, people you’ve met in real life or ever seen on a screen, is such a tiny drop in the ocean of humanity. Even if you refuse to internalize the great advice all up and down this thread that boils down to “have empathy”, it is still a game of numbers in your favor. No doubt, if you didn’t change, there would still be a fantastic chance of finding someone broken enough to get into a co-dependent situationship with sex with you. So chin up, bro.
Appreciate your optimism for my sad soul
