Either being a cheater, being cheated on or both. I wanna hear about it.
I was married for about… two months to someone. I didnt fall down to my knees in the blinding light of Jesus fast enough (or at all) so naturally it was the worst of all possible marriages (she proposed to me) and a mistake from day 1.
Later on we are sitting in divorce court, and I have a visible bite mark/hickey on my neck. She gets annoyed at me, and I just shrug. She wanted a divorce. We are sitting here getting a quickie divorce. She moved out a month or so before. I’m personable, I’m cute, I’m employed, Im clean, sober, and without child. Of course I’m hanging out with other women.
She went on to get married a month after that, to a much less nice and much less attractive guy, who would tell her what she wanted to hear as far as religion went. They were married for six months and she was blowing up my phone in an attempt find her way back into my good graces. (and pants)
I’m now happily married to someone who is better at making up her mind.
I had to cheat on someone when they couldn’t register the fact that I told them that we were over. I guess she had a particular way of inciting drama by manufacturing relationships that way when she couldn’t see that she was the problem, so she makes out others as the problem instead this way.
I have deep shame that during my worst mental health crisis during which I was actively planning ending my life I had two girlfriends that didn’t know about each other for 8 months and it hurt both of them.
I had several partners - m and f - cheat on me or push me into unwanted polyam/open-r both before and after.
I did therapy, took meds, haven’t quite forgiven myself but have moved into a healthy space and am happily married.
I’ve never been a cheater, and as far as I know I haven’t been cheated on. However, I did hook up with a guy who I later found out was married. Not only married, but he’d just had a baby with his wife. As soon as I learned that, I shut that shit down.
He argued, “Just cuz I’m married doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have a little fun.” Bruh, you’re digging yourself a deeper hole. I brought up his infant daughter, and he gave no shits.
Just when I thought he couldn’t get slimier, he went and floated a fantasy of having both me and my mom (he knew her from a previous job.) Yeah. Seriously. I went zero contact from there.
Dude still messages me out of the blue every few months despite me never responding. I wish I knew his wife’s name and had a way to contact her, but in the meantime I haven’t blocked him on the off chance I’ll be able to share all his crap with her someday.
Dude still messages me out of the blue every few months
Dude is just stacking weights on that sword of Damocles
So I was dating this bigender guy, and while we’re dating, he gets a crush on another guy and suggests we invite him to be a thruple. I don’t really see what’s so hot about this other guy, but he’s nice so I agree.
Then a few days later, My boyfriend says he asked the other guy out alone, but I’m not going to be dating the other guy, so it’s not gonna be a thruple. And I figure I’m okay with that, because I wasn’t really interested in the other guy to begin with, and I technically consented. But for the next month, I feel really shitty and jealous.
And eventually during a mental breakdown a month later, I realise it’s fucking cheating to ask a third party out in a way your partner didn’t consent to, and My misery changes to fury. Fuck that guy.
And anyway, a few months later, the other guy contacts Me, drunk, saying he dumped our mutual ex, and he’s convinced his entire relationship with our ex was a ploy to make Me jealous. And I prefer Hanlon’s razor, but I’m glad My cheating ex got dumped and ended up alone.
Being cheated on was gut-wrenching. The worst part is I forgave her and she did it several more times. In hindsight, I was afraid I would not find a prettier woman than her. I was 20 years old and she was 18. Luckily though women do not stay pretty forever and now she’s old/ugly like all people our age. (trying to be humorous as beauty is only skin deep and not as important as money)
My favorite thing about maintaining a youthful appearance into my 40’s is that every person who was ever been a jerk to me because they weren’t attracted to me is already turning into a gargoyle, and I’m over here doing pretty okay with my fey blood. (Except for a slightly weird eye that will eventually get really weird, thanks to a genetic condition.)
Exercise, healthy food, and sunscreen pay with interest as we age. Mom is early 60s looks late 40s.
I said it before, but people are often schocked when they find out how old i am. Especially 20ish year olds who think 30 is ancient. When i tell them basically that, they lose all interest. Oh, so it’s not a magic pill and takes the slightest bit of efforts? Stop wasting my time.
Oh yeah.
I’m in my 40’s but look like I’m in my late 20’s or early 30’s and that’s always what people guess when the issue comes up. Thankfully, I feel like I’m in my 30’s still too.
The only downer is my hair is starting to gray, so in 5 years or so I’m going to be more of a silver fox. :D
Yup. That’s all it is for me too.
Money is just as unimportant.
This echoes my ex-perience.
I’m totally sympathetic aside from the whole focus on looks thing. Being older doesn’t mean you’re ugly. I know you say you’re trying to be humorous, but it’s not humorous because a lot of people sincerely treat women that way. Also, money is not that important for most people, either, beyond being able to take care of yourself.
Ive been on both sides.
My first gf cheated on me. We were together 4 years and i was using her laptop coz mine was getting repaired and i clicked paste and all this writting came up. I started reading it and realised it was an email she was writting to another guy about organising a meet up to fuck.
I also cheated on one of my exes. We were together almost 5 years, and i wanted to leave the small town we grew up in and go to the big city and she didnt. We always fought and i would drop it and then hate myself for it. After the last fight, i cheated on her to stop myself going back on my dream again (knowing i cheated meant i couldnt have a relationship with her). Was a shitty way to handle it but i was desperate to get out of the loop we were stuck in and i made sure she never found out. Doesnt excuse what i did at all, but it changed my life for the better once i moved
Well you may or not believe this.
I was 18 and I went to a coffeeshop for the first time in my life. I see a friend of my and he has these two girls with him, Lucy and Amanda. We all talk and smoke and me and Lucy end up spending the night together.
2 days later I haven’t heard from her. I got to the coffeeshop and I get pretty high. At some point I see Lucy and Amanda walk in. I wave and they some sit with me but its weird. Amanda is totally vibing me and Lucy is being kind of distant. The music is loud and I’m really high and I can’t really tell.
Then I see Lucy and Amanda come in the front door wearing different clothes. I was so confused and high as they walked over. I had forgot they were already sitting next to me! Then they joined us and hugged themselves and each others other.
Then the new Lucy jumped right into my lap and the first Amanda looks at her like WTF?
So of course the first Lucy and Amanda were not Lucy and Amanda but their twins Lacy and Amelia! Yes two sets of identical twins! I would love to tell you it got crazy from there …but it was just normal dating for me and Lucy for a few months.
I had two people cheat on me, that I know of. I didn’t care about who they were sleeping with, I did care that they wanted to lie to me and that they weren’t taking safe sex seriously.
On the flipside, had a couple of times I was in a poly relationship, met someone new, and then had an existing partner flip out as if I was cheating (despite them having other partners).
Jealousy is a weird emotion, and I don’t really understand it.
High school best friend’s first, long-term girlfriend became infatuated with me when we met. The more unavailable I tried to be, the more limerance I caused in her. I eventually started to crack because I wasn’t use to the attention and being pursued at all. It got ugly, I damaged that friendship irreparably but at least she realized I was kind of a piece of shit once she finally got to know me. Not soon enough for it to not be a disaster for everyone though.
There was one guy I dated a while back for a bit and it was going pretty good until I found out he was cheating on his husband with me, and they had a kid. I broke it off immediately because it made me feel guilty as shit.
I’ve never cheated, but I was once made to feel like I had because I was in (what I thought was) a casual relationship with someone who, it seems, took it very seriously, and I was seeing other people at the same time. There was no intent to hide any of this, it just wasn’t discussed, and therefore I thought it was all okay.
I felt awful. I’m now very clear on my intentions at every stage of coupling with another person, and it was a good lesson to learn at a young age.
There used to be this idea of casual dating versus “going steady” (a monogamous at least semi-serious go at a relationship), but that disappeared by the '90s. Since then, unless it’s a casual hookup or clear Friends with benefits situation, it’s become more common for regular dating with sex to be equated with what used to be called “going steady”.
It’s important to make sure you’re on the same page.
Definitely. 🤟😎
My girlfriend slept with a guy at a university camp and then got angry at him and cut one of his dreds off. She told me about it as soon as she got back. I’d met the guy and thought him a douchy child, but i mostly felt sorry for him. I was a bit disappointed in her choice but i wasn’t hurt or anything. A few weeks later i drunkenly kinda went to bed with a housemate who i then realised i’d been crushing on, and my girlfriend and i admitted there wasn’t really anything there and broke up. When i first told her that me and elizabeth made out she was like, “Aww, go you!”
That was a real “no harm no foul” situation. Years later i went on a 3 month holiday and never came back. Everyone but me and my then girlfriend realised i was just moving overseas. She was way more into the relationship and I was too cowardly to break up. We carried on long distance until i found someone else. I broke up with her before anything happened, but she was hurt and it felt like cheating in a way that the more technical cheating above had not.
Not sure if this count as cheating or what actually happened, but definitely felt like one.
My ex were travelling for work and she said she’s staying at her other house. At that time we’ve been together for about a year. We were chatting, and then into sexting, then she suddenly video called me. We never do video call, so it felt weird. Upon accepting the call, there were another guy that said to be her boyfriend and he started yelling at me, so i just hang up and sit on my bed, not sure what just happened. She never mentioned she’s sharing house or room or whatever with another guy. Then she started to message me, saying that he’s her ex and she didn’t broke off cleanly with him. We met up, she have bruise all around her, and at that moment i just have to forgive her and swallow whatever doubt i have, leave the doubt for another day.
A year later she broke off with me and till this day i have no idea what actually happened in that room, why he’s so close to her to see our message.
It sounds like she might have been in an abusive relationship and (maybe) that she tried and failed to leave.
I’ve not been cheat on buuuuuut I had a girlfriend that was jealous of all my girl friends. Jealous, like read my messenger on my tablet jealous. « No, tribbles I’m not attracted to anyone else than you ». Broke up with me and was already seeing someone else, was angry at me when a month later we bumped on each other in a bar and I reveal that I had a one night stand.
So yeah it was hard
I’m pretty sure she never cheated but she sure played a lot of decks at the same time
