I don’t know about that, I’ll be fine until someone with no comprehension of “right of way” nearly kills me. Those moments usually create a string of angry swears that would make a sailor proud.

I feel you. I have to keep reminding myself that a lot of my anxiety isn’t mine - it’s my mom’s. I just inherited the behaviors that she picked up, that in turn were created in reaction to my (long-gone) toxic grandfather’s abuse.

Generational trauma probably lurks behind all of us, deeprooted and insidious, propping up maladaptive behaviors that go unexamined simply because they are considered “normal” in our families.

My sapphic brain wasn’t tuned to understand that quote properly at first. Instead of seeing an insult, I thought, “Wow, that sounds like a busy, but amazing, morning.”

Lord of the Flies. Good thing they were caught, they were just about to murder a kid.

Funny, all the things you said that offended Reddit sound like reasons to celebrate having you here.

I worked at a hardware store that had hired security at the doors, to check receipts. One day, a customer was leaving when the theft detectors beeped. One of the security guards requested to see his receipt, but he ignored her. So she asked him a second time.

That customer kept walking out. He then complained to the security company that employed the security guard, claiming harassment.

Next day, that security guard was fired.

Which is how I learned that airports aren’t the only places that spend a ridiculous amount of money on pure security theater. Apparently the guards had been instructed to ask for a receipt once, and accept it if the customer ignores them, even if the alarms go off. I can understand not wanting someone to follow a customer out of the store, but that is a weak-ass bluff right there.

BONUS STORY! In that same store, someone was stealing tons of high-quality equipment. There was a guy who worked the lot, which meant that among other things, the outdoor trash bins were his responsibility. They were brought in during closing time, then back out the next morning.

Apparently this guy used that as his cover, over the course of several months, to sneak thousands of dollars worth of product out of the store. He knew where security cameras were (and weren’t), and he knew nobody would question him dragging trash bins around. So he hid items on the bottoms of the bins, covered the top with a trash bag, and brought them outside. He’d then move them to an area where the cameras couldn’t see and retrieve the items. Eventually loss prevention noticed something was fishy and caught him, but he’d gotten away with it for quite a while until then.

Reddit bans itself from my VPN, so I guess we had a mutual break-up.

zero click internet

I went to look this up and DuckDuckGo automatically provided an AI-generated answer at the top of the page, before all the search results. I’m not quite sure what the word is for the odd way I’m feeling now. Probably some obscure term that only exists in another language.

It could be an official rite of passage, perhaps one that’s provided after one receives the great sacrament of Sexual Education. Every student participates in a comprehensive, science-based course that educates them factually about sex, before they’re given access to porn. That way, we’re not letting porn be sex ed, which is currently a problem for way too many.

It’s a self-preservation attempt. It’s the same reason bullies amass followers. Appeasing the powerful jerk usually works to prevent being targeted by them.

However, that would require the powerful jerk to actually value that sort of loyalty.

It’s clear that neither Trump nor Musk feel any kind of obligation to those who’ve lifted them up. Like many bootlickers across the United States, Kanye over-values his own importance and expects others to view him the same - similar to how many immigrants voted for Trump, thinking that surely they were the exception to all his anti-immigrant rhetoric, all the while refusing to listen to those of us who said they’d be lumped in together regardless.

People’s inability to share another person’s perspective has absolutely shredded our social fabric.

Scantily-clad people? On my internet?

Such a preposterous proposition!

I have had a in-depth conversation with something who believed that Shrek was the incarnation of God

I would love to hear their reasoning. That is fascinating.

Oh god, it looks like it’s about to sing.

Nah, I imagine whatever demon got ownership of Donny would win the jackpot. Trump isn’t the first of his kind, he’s barely special at all when lined up next to other self-indulgent, hate-filled dictators who had amassed power throughout human history. Hell would have plenty of experience with his kind, and thus would know exactly what to do with Donny.

Each of those former-rulers had legions of people who absolutely detested them. There’d probably be a celebration when a massive shitbag like that finally passes the gates of Hell. A creative demon would probably recognize and exploit that energy somehow, maybe by offering people a break from being tortured, and instead getting a chance to torture such an individual for a set amount of time. (Probably charging the people for the opportunity, too, since I assume Hell would be capitalist. But I disgress.) Point is, a demon would have a lot of options with a ward like Donny.

Women almost always date men who man more.

Well, yeah. It’s easier for a man to man, than for a woman to man. That tracks.

Did you date my former coworker? I used to use a chartreuse coathanger because it was the only one of that color, which made it easy for me to spot. One day, as I was putting my coat away, this coworker started talking as if we were already mid-way through an argument. “It’s so green. I don’t know why you said it’s yellow.” Huh? I had no idea what he was talking about at first. I asked if he meant my coathanger, and I responded that I didn’t know what color it was. (I didn’t know what “chartreuse” meant yet.) He ranted on, claiming we fought about it once before, even though this was the first time he’d even talked about my coathanger. It was bizarre.

I think that guy had something psychologically troubling going on. I’d also seen him: ask a question, make up an answer for that question, then immediately proceed to believe the answer he made up with 100% certainty. The question? “How do those Magic Eraser cleaning sponges work?” His answer? “They use paint.” I asked how it could possibly match the color of every surface it’s used on, but he insisted his answer must be right. Truly magical thinking.

I also saw him watch an ad for a random product, then promptly declare that he needed that product. I had always thought of ads as something to tune out, but he legit followed them as if they were friends giving advice. I had never seen anything like that.

It’s kinda… squishy? I can hear my cerebral spinal fluid when I go for walks in quiet places. It sounds like it’s coming from the back/bottom of your head, and it’s like a light rushing fluid sound, swishing with each step.

I can’t remove accountability from these women for making the choice to marry guys like this in a relatively short time frame. It is, in a way, misogynistic and infantalizing to paint women as helpless victims without agency in this type of situation.

Were you raised to not speak up for yourself? Were you socially conditioned to be held responsible for the emotions of others? Have you ever been like that, and were manipulated by a partner?

I was, for all three of those. Thankfully, I was able to get away from the guy that led me 1000 miles away, using charm and lies. But I was a grown adult, in my 20s, and maybe at the time, I would’ve agreed with you - not only would I not have realized he was deliberately pulling my strings, but I probably would’ve been upset at the suggestion that I wasn’t making my own decisions. But looking back, I can see how little control I really had. Someone can’t give informed consent to a situation that they’re being tricked into, regardless of gender.

The guy in this article used “aliases, manipulations, and love-bombing tactics.” Such psychological manipulation can mess with decision making, especially if paired with pre-existing issues with self-esteem or confidence. I know the power of that manipulation is real because I, and many people (mostly women) that I know, have lived through similar experiences. It’s pretty shitty to tell a former victim that admitting to not having control when being abused is “infantalizing women” and that acKshUally I had agency all along. So many people struggle with feelings of responsibility after abuse, unable to accept that they were misled, unable to believe that they fell for an abusive charmer. To finally come to terms with having been powerless is a huge step and it takes a lot of humility.

So please, just listen to my experience and believe my words. I’m not trying to argue with anyone. I can’t expect anyone who hasn’t been psychologically manipulated to fully understand what it’s like, but it’s important to know that being in that state interferes with rational thinking. The closest thing I can compare it to is highly effective propaganda - the kind that is so good at convincing a person of something, that they don’t realize they’ve been subject to propaganda at all.

I’m saying these women were manipulated and it’s not fair to assume desperation, or any motive really. I don’t know them, I don’t know their situations, but I was a young woman once and I know what it’s like to be victimized by an abuser, then subsequently blamed for it.

I’ve seen a lot of guys on Lemmy say they don’t see misogyny on here. But when misogyny gets pointed out, it gets dismissed and whatever comment points it out gets buried under downvotes. Guys. This is an example of misogyny, even if it wasn’t intentional. If you don’t see it, let me ask you one thing: why are we accepting the assumption that the victims (women) had a motive and that the abuser (man) was just really good in bed? Do you see how that narrative denies the power dynamic at play, and in fact compliments the man who took advantage of three different women?

Did you see his eyes? He’s a black guy with astonishingly green eyes. That’s enough to make a guy stand out, without his “dick game” even factoring in.

It’s important not to discount that he used charm and love-bombing to manipulate these women. That isn’t a matter of “desperation” - these women were unwilling victims of a con man.