Scenario: It’s night, and a man is walking home. He sees ahead there is a woman going in the opposite direction as him. Knowing not to stop or approach her, but his presence makes her nervous. What would help further in this scenario if anything?
Ignore her like anyone else and let her decide on her own comfort zone walking by you? If some one sees you walking alone, and starts altering their behavior because of your presence, whatever their intention, it sends the message that you have been noticed, you are being watched, they are reacting to your presence, and this indicates some kind of interest or goal in an interaction.
So just keep waking, if she wants to cross the street, just ignore her. Definitely don’t yell “It’s okay I’m not a rapist!” or “I have a girlfriend already!”, just let her do her thing, and you keep doing yours.
I usually turn around and start walking backwards, peeking quickly over my shoulder and looking increasingly worried because she’s chasing ME and she’s getting closer!
Don’t make women the victim; be a gentleman and YOU be the victim.
I usually turn around and start walking backwards,
lol I imagined you walking backwards literally, maintaining the original direction after turning around
Anyone else feel really allienated when people act like it’s normal for women to have an anxious breakdown in the presence of, or interacting with a dude?
I don’t want to downplay what some go through, or the trauma that people relive, but it’s not normal or healthy to be living in constant fear of the opposite sex.
For all the guys who feel like their presence is an active threat to the women around them: just be normal. Be courteous, but don’t treat them higher, or lower, than anyone else you meet. Feels weird I have to say that
- Make eye contact. No eye contact is creepy. It’s best to err on the side of more, rather than less, eye contact, because you probably don’t make enough.
- Pick up the pace. If you’re walking slowly, it’s going to look like you’re trying to prolong the encounter, so go at least at a trot.
- Hands are threatening, so keep one or both behind your back to prevent spooking her.
- Smile! You look prettier that way. Two birds with one stone here: if you keep a smile on your face, you’ll look less threatening, and you can tell her to smile to inform her that you want her to be happy.
- Pay her a compliment to put her at ease. Something non-sexual like, “you have beautiful teeth.”
- It will be clear you’re not a threat if she knows you’ve got something else. You could communicate that you’re going home to eat by licking your lips. Make some smacking noises too, if it’s dark.
- Clothes conceal threats, so take yours off.
HTH
See a woman in distance. Puts hands behind his back (could be a weapon). Picks up the pace. Looks straight into the eyes, lock on, force a smile so you look like a psycho and say: you have beautiful theeth.
If she doesn’t call the police or starts screaming then you surely didn’t follow all the points.
Calling the police is normal, as it helps her to feel safer. Don’t worry, this is a synergistic response to the situation.
HTH
Mind your business and keep walking. Don’t be weird and stare. Maybe smile, nod your head, or say hello – again if you can be normal. In any case keep walking.
1 show up really drunk and high
2 take a dump on stage
3 smash the microphone into your head repeatedly
4 throw shit at the audience
5 smear shit all over yourself
6 roll around in the shit while actively bleeding
7 hug your fans on the street after getting kicked out of the venue
8 try not to OD and die at the partyIs that you GG Allin
No no no, all of these suggestions are wrong, some of them get close, but they don’t paint the whole picture.
Start off by just walking calmly, and then once she’s in your hearing range, give her a nod. Now, start snarling and quickly drop to all 4s as you gallop forwards and eventually past her. This is a sure fire sign to make sure that she knows she’s in good hands
Just act like a normal person, jesus christ
As much as this is the right answer, I understand where OP is coming from.
OP: to expand: you’re not responsible for other people’s fears or phobias. The best thing you can do is exactly that: nothing, just act as if the person were a guy you don’t know. Trying to “prove” you’re not a threat is exactly the thing a person who is a threat would do, so you’re going to set off a whole bunch of alarm bells by doing that. And that’s not just valid for women - at least I would be kind of creeped out if some guy did some of the things some people have mentioned in this thread.
Jesus Christ is an unusually high standard for a normal person to live up to.
Is it though? Seems to me it’s more or less just don’t be a dick, don’t judge, and treat others how you want to be treated. Aside from the magic, JC seems like a pretty average bar to aspire to.
it was two bars, arranged perpendicularly
But I mean, then there’s the running your hand through your long dark locks, and if your hair is short, that just looks weird.
Act creepy enough and she’ll cross the street so you end up with the whole side walk.
Swear and call her names and she’ll remember you and keep an eye out to avoid you.
I avoid troglodytes dog guy and floppy arms running girl. 2 golden retriever lady avoids me or at least I haven’t seen her.
Shoot webbing at the closest streetlight, use it to swing to the to of the building across the street. The Rhino is trying to rob the bank again, stand back citizen!
Cross the street because what if she tries talking to me? It’s night, I already did all my talking for the week I wanna be introverted alone.
Think fast hot shot! You both started crossing the street at the same time for the same reason and neither of you noticed until you’re in the middle of the road. Now what?
Comic book logic says I’m the one getting hit by traffic
Turn around then realise that looks weird, turn back around, fuck it’s even wierder now, check if she noticed, she saw me look at her, fucking hell now i have to think of something non-comittal and pleasant to say without it sounding weird… ‘uh… nice lamps tonight?’
Meet cute. Keep trying to dodge the same way
Held hands in the ER while doctors were setting their broken noses.
I think this is how you form Voltron? Or like it’s part of it.
What kind of question is this? You just act like a normal person and keep walking. Maybe step politely to the side to avoid crashing right into them
The question was raised on the women stuff thread, they recommended op ask here since it’s women only over there.
As a woman, seriously, just give me the bro nod to acknowledge that I exist but am not that interesting to you and keep walking. If you go out of your way to show that you aren’t a threat now I’m thinking you’re a threat, and if you pointedly ignore me now I’m wondering if you are actually far more interested in me than you should be but you want me not to notice.
Brief eye contact while acknowledging that I exist tells me you aren’t afraid of me remembering your face but that you aren’t being weird and staring or trying to hide from me.
I like to have a smile as well. If I give the nod or even a cursory “hello” I try to have my body language say that I in no way expect or need any sort of response or acknowledgement.
I’d go with “Evening” over “Hello”. The latter signals that you’re trying to initiate a conversation, the former is just friendly acknowledgement.
I feel this is exactly what OP and others fear. Trying to optimize the best way to pass someone without being creepy or threatening. It can be maddening. Like, I see your point, but how far down that rabbit hole can we go? It’s exhausting trying to not be weird which is ultimately weird itself.
Which nod is that, a down nod or an up nod? I’ve always found up nod threatening tbh
I just find the up-nod extremely douchy in any circumstance
I’m feeling extremely vindicated! I hate it, and I dislike in general the idea that men “nod at each other to say hello”
Definitely a down nod. An up nod indicates that you want their attention.
See maybe it’s my part of the world, but I’ve always seen guys use an up nod as sort of a “yo, 'sup fellow human” , and a down nod as a “hello there”. The up nod just has a subtly more chill bro feel to it, but either is fine lol.
Now I need to go poll some guys.
For me an up nod is a greeting towards somebody I know, or at least have seen before.
And a down nod is an respectful acknowledgement towards a stranger.
Idk if anyone else reads them that way though…
That’s how I’ve always interpreted and done it.
I think there is a cultural thing around nods. I would definitely not recommend, in this situation, doing a nod that does not feel natural to you, so either do whatever nod you can actually pull off casually, or skip the nod.
There is also a locale specificity… Where I live, people don’t usually nod or otherwise acknowledge strangers on the street. Some places you might be expected to smile and nod or even say hi.
TIL i’ve had it backwards all this time. oh well, guess i’ll just add it to the mountain of “basic aspects of basic human interaction that i will now be overthinking on manual mode for the rest of my life” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It’s not universal.
In thia context i would interpret it as “Hey, it’s pretty dark out here. Wanna buy drugs?”
Or just summoning someone to come over to you
I have always read it as down nod is for acknowledging someone you don’t know/ know very well, and up nod is for people you know. The idea being you nod down to cover your vital neck while also making eye contact, in a sorta “I see/I am watching you if you try something”. Up nod reveals the neck, showing trust and comfortability.
Let’s see: “Sup? Let’s fight” vs “Hello”…
Shit, now I’m self conscious about my nod reflexively being an up nod!
You should tell her that you’ve been trying to reach her regarding her car’s extended warranty.
/s
I appreciate you
Be less autistic. Jesus.
It’s called having empathy and social awareness
Yes. Social awareness in this case is walking forward exactly as you were, and maybe nodding at the person you pass, as human beings do. Not crossing the road, or trying to demonstrate somehow that you’re not weird, because that is weird.
And no, this is not what the previous post’s question was referring to.
Yes but also, I’d say social awareness is asking this question to know what to do when you’re overthinking something simple.
Going out of your way to make someone who the world tells you might be perceiving you as a threat isn’t weird. It’s empathetic.
There are casual ways to do it but I get asked this question by men ALL the time.
They didn’t say anything about the previous post.
