Same.

You don’t have an ass?

Nice wiener bro.

If you want a true massive brain reject communism and fascisms and embrace liberalism.

That’s sexual assault.

This makes me so erect.

A swing and a miss.

Harris would have been worse though.

I saved the comment so I can download the wiki if I ever lose internet.

McRibs are the shit.

I eat fifteen a day when it’s McRib season and it’s literally all I would eat if they served it year round.

I want a McRib McGriddle or a McRib McMuffin just to complete the day because I can’t eat them from two am to eleven am as it stands.

Unless the victim is a female cop because then they’re asking for it.

So if I’m understanding the article correctly the earthquake scared the butterflies away and they were the only thing holding the black death back.

Soak that shit in a ziplock full of vinegar, hold it in place with an elastic band and profit with a shiny clean shower head.

There’s literally only seven words I don’t say on the internet and they are shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

Freddy Got Fingered you uncultured swine.

I was thinking Aphex Twin.

Turn the heat up and turn the AC up means fundamentally different things though.

My cats would sell me out for three treats.

I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck up in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

It’s goddamned poetry.