I’m still in touch with my first ever partner after almost 8 years after the breakup. I still very much love them, but not romantically though, they’re a person i wouldn’t want to miss in life!

BUT even with them we only started being friends about 2 years after the breakup. I can say for myself my dumb ass wouldn’t be able to process that emotionally at an earlier point.

My last partner blocked me everywhere, but considering the circumstances i can’t blame them. We were both bringing out the worst in each other and the shit life threw at us was just too much to handle - depression, cancer diagnosis (i really hope they’re doing well) & financial troubles.

so it depends on the case.

ex of mine and I are, dated a bunch in college and broke up amicably. she gave a toast at my wedding lol

I keep in touch with 2 here and there - we don’t really talk much, but maybe a couple times a year at most. On good terms with both, but just living our own lives.

The other two I haven’t said a word to in years. One I’ve completely cut contact with, along with her entire circle I used to be friends with, once I snapped out of it and realized I’d just been taken advantage of and the whole group was toxic. Shitshow and a half, and also a big part of why I stepped away from a specific game’s community that we met through.

The last one I don’t like to dwell on too much, because in this case I know I was the abusive asshole - I’ve grown and changed since then, and there’s no point opening old wounds by reaching out. I hope they’re doing well these days and have processed and healed from the damage I know I caused.

Depends on who you are as a person. I used to gravitate back to my exes so they broke it off and swore off communication. This is indeed one of my largest vices, and I am glad they nipped it in the bud.

Life is ever changing, they are out there as a person who is not entirely who they were before, so I needn’t run into them or be a part of their life again.

Some yes, some no. Gonna depend on the circumstances of every breakup

Very rarely. Sometimes there’s the occasional hookup involved.

I actually ended a relationship recently. And it depends on the circumstances of the relationship ending.

For me I ain’t going to even breath her way after what she did to me and my family. So safe to say not going to be friends or even think about being friends with her.

As for any other exes most ended on a nice note, and if I saw them out and about I’d probably say hi but I most likely wouldn’t become “friends”

Some yes, some no. For those I do stay friends with, I still take a break and go low/no contact with them for a while before resuming friendship. I need it to draw a line, so to speak, between the old relationship and friendship.

I’ve also had guys want to “remain friends” while they really meant hookup buddy. A break helps suss out those who are disingenuous with their stated intentions.

Yes but we’re not « good » friends. We saw each other occasionally at best

In your situation I’ll say give it 2-4 years before becoming friend with your ex

They generally become acquaintances. There’s no hostility, but also way less of a reason to catch up and hang out.

I like to say “relationships don’t end, they change.” I’m friendly with a lot of my exes for the same reasons I was into them in the first place.

For others, the relationship changed into the kind without speaking or acknowledgement. Still pretty sure we’d be civil, if not friendly, if we got stuck in the same elevator. Probably because we all have abandonment issues and Machiavellian tendencies.

I wasn’t gonna comment but for sake of diversity I feel you deserve at least one good one. I’m actually quite close with one of my exes from 13 years ago. We dated when I was graduating highschool he broke up with me (very respectfully. He basically just told me I deserved someone who liked me as much as I like them, and he was right).

Anyway, he and I didn’t really hang out much or talk much for a while but we were in the same community and would see each other at metal shows all the time and weren’t unfriendly but would just kind of live our own lives. Once my ego healed a bit from being dumped we did hook up a couple times. Then some time passed and I met my partner of now over a decade. Anyway, me and the ex still chat, he’s met my partner and they get along very well. My ex is a genuinely kind and funny guy and I would be a reference for him any day and I consider him more my friend than my ex at this point.

I really do think time apart is important because they need to become not a constant fixture in your life before you can repair the relationship to “friend” level.

not really anymore, but only for usually drifting apart from old friends reasons. it is hard (for me) to maintain friendships when the other party lives thousands of kilometers away, and everyone is too poor and busy to travel.

No, I’ve tried a few times. It hasn’t worked out.
I would love to be but… Too many conflicting emotions.

Some, some not.