Mine is evaluated based on how many of them were there for me when I was at my lowest. It’d be unfair for me to evaluate them based on communication, because then that’d mean that everyone would be gone, so that’d be unfair. I also don’t think evaluating people based on what they gift you or do for you is adequate either. So, yeah, I think the clear line basis of me removing a friend is about sheer balance.
I don’t like friendships that are just unrealistic. Where they want only and nothing but the best from you and for you. Friendships are about enduring someone’s worst and figuring it through too. If you just push someone away all of the time and leave them in dormancy where their mind tends to wander into places it shouldn’t. That’s one of the worst things a friend can do and it can also include up to things like not talking to them just for a check up every now and then.
So again, if more friends have let me down or dropping the ball, then that’s probably my reason.
I had some “friends” that ended up being two of the most toxic people I’ve ever known. They intentionally try and learn dirt on other people in the group to soak drama. They were also new swingers and they were constantly trying to sleep with everyone in the friend group by initiating in the creepiest way not taking no easily as an answer.
I had a “friend” who turned out to be a super aggressive bully any time he didn’t get his way. I worked with the guy and he got super hostile and weird at work when I couldn’t solve an IT problem for him. No apology, ever. He just kept doubling down.
I have more stories but learning that you don’t have to put up with everyone is an amazing tool in your social toolbox that no one teaches you.