I’m 19 now and engaged to my 17-year-old girlfriend, whom I’ve been with for three years. We have a wedding planned for September 2026. It has always been my dream to have a family of my own, and that motivated me to propose: why wait if you know what you want? Thankfully, my parents are supportive, and I’m aware that without them, none of this would be possible at our age.
Yeah, I do think 20 is too young.
This is a fair question but honestly there’s so many good reasons to wait.
The obvious answer is… if it’s really what you want then what’s the hurry ? I mean it’s great that you’ve found your life partner and whatever and that your future seems so certain, but why complicate things with marriage? I’m honestly kinda wondering. Is it the commitment that’s important to you? Are you waiting to have sex? Do you actually want to get pregnant?
If it’s the commitment that you want, then oh my god marriage is a terrible idea.
If it’s sex, then… well… there’s probably not much I can say that will change your mind. Still a terrible idea.
If it’s kids then if your wife to be gets pregnant before commencing a career you’re king of condemning her to a life time of minimum wage jobs. You might be planning for a trad-wife kind of situation but … plans change. It’s a bit like planning for a career as a rock star - it’s great to follow your dreams but your partner needs a plan B.
If none of the above apply then there doesn’t seem to be any good reason to get married. Spend 5 years living with your respective parents and save up for a deposit on a house or something.
deleted by creator
I don’t understand your reasoning. Do you think being married is less complicated than not being married? That logically doesn’t make sense. Doing nothing (not getting married) will always be less complicated than doing something (getting married).
Why do you need a symbolic commitment instead of just commitment? 17-30 is a period full of change for many people. You might decide to study or pursue a vocation in different places, you might find out one wants the city and another a small town, you might find out your political ideologies are in the midst of a major change, and so on.
It doesn’t really seem as if you’re actually open to another opinion but you’re looking for affirmation that you’re making the right choice. Maybe ask yourself why you need that affirmation. Do you want the same things? Which dreams do you have? Which plans? Where do you stand politically and ideologically? What does marriage mean to either of you? Did you have the idea of marriage by yourselves? Was it parents, or society, or media, or really just you who had the idea?
Marriage isn’t a fairytale. More than half of them fail. If your reaction to my comment is “fuck you, I’ll show them”, then you’re definitely getting married for the wrong reason. Just be clear about your reasons. If they are genuine and you both are on board. Then go for it.