otter

Don’t help the trolls/bots, thanks. 🖕🏼

Fuck. Off.

Ferreal. It sounds like this is a suburban teenager raccoon. Gonna break into the mall? On it. Start with the McDojo for some sweet nunchuks and badass headband, then the liquor store for the drunken master training montage, before the DMV for those hot fries. 🤌🏼

Just one? Hmm. Plaid flannel pyjama bottoms that used to be a friend’s, but who lost her battle to against cancer years ago. They’re comfy AF, and the perfect ingredient to any day off, just like she was.

Except Oprah did it by stepping on them to get there… 🤢🖕🏼

edit: sorry, wicked early; missed the irony at first.

Hey, it’s worked wonders for decades so far! Why not risk getting ICEd for it, ya know? 😶‍🌫️

I mean, FFS, does no one see the cum gutters on that guy? Christ.

Trump & Epstein come to mind…

ICE

Don’t forget the protein powder shake. Get that gut flora overloaded but be careful not to paint your shorts. Or do, I guess. Whatever you’re into. 😅🫣

There are droves of others in honor of the first one. Join the GFY legion of silly. 🤘🏼

Especially about the US from inside the house 😶

Yes

So, that includes Fuckitol®, too? That makes sense.

Is this a copypasta I’m not aware of? 🤣

edit: my new tech metal band name is Wings of Syntax

Fair

I’m not asking for an ELI5 conceptual summary, friend. 🙄🤦🏼‍♂️

Feel*

Don’t worry, they’ll just check your bag while they talk to you for 20mins before reading you your rights and arresting you on suspicion. They’ll somehow find evidence of your guilt much later, at the station, when they search your things “officially”. 🤌🏼

Wait. You think a washing machine isn’t deeply consumerist? Oohboy. That’s a conversation.