nickwitha_k (he/him)

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 16th, 2023

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  • Seasoned Linux users i don’t even recommend it unless they have basic programming skills.

    I’ve been using Linux about a decade and a half, and programming for almost twice that. I really just don’t like the Nix language (or DSLs altogether). I also had a poor experience with my first test of NixOS, by the docs, having not configured my networking stack, in making it impossible to fix without booting back to the live USB.

    For people that do like the syntax and don’t mind DSLs, it’s pretty great and it’s excellent that the ideas have been propagating elsewhere. I love the concepts but not the implementation.


  • I think I understand my feelings most of the time

    I thought I did too but just had trouble communicating them. It turned out that I had overestimated my comprehension. Practice has helped me a lot.

    but I do have difficulty controlling them.

    Something that I’d caution is that framing altogether. Emotion is part of our experience as humans and an integral part of our consciousness. Controlling our emotions (with exception of those with conditions like Bipolar PD that need help with emotional stability) is not the best goal. Emotions are important, involuntary, and frequently serve evolutionary purposes.

    The more healthy way to look at it is addressing how we react when we experience our emotions. That is something that we do have control over. Those of us with ADHD often have trouble with emotional dysregulation (kind of a misnomer, IMO, as it is more about managing reaction to experienced emotions), which makes it more of a challenge. It is still possible though with practice (and accepting that failure is part of the process).

    Thanks for the very comprehensive answer internet stranger, I appreciate it.

    You’re very welcome. If I’ve helped yourself or anyone else in the slightest, I am delighted.



  • I’d say, from my experience with Ansible, that it can absolutely do all of that. Might be able to use a single task for the package install, if the distro supports the generic package module. There’s also a pamd module that would likely cover your needs there. If not, it would still be possible with a custom module or some Xinfile fuckery (if it can be fine programmatically, it can be done in Ansible, more niche things may require writing code, however).

    It would not be as terse though. Really wish there was a good middle ground.



  • That said, America didn’t seem to always been fucked - surely there was a post war period up until the late 70s were for most things were pretty good (certainly as a kid I used to look up to that America), though with the caveat that it was only true if one wasn’t an Afro-American.

    About that…after WWII, the US fought two major proxy wars with the USSR, including the Vietnam War, which had the “bonus” of being partly motivated by France being unable to secure colonial rule, as well as other “bonuses” like heavily documented crimes against humanity and, domestically, events like the May 4th, 1970 Kent State Massacre, where national guardsmen were dispatched to disperse a 2000 student peaceful protest, leading to the murder of 4 unarmed students and injury of 9 more, when they began firing indiscriminately into the crowd. Extra “double-bonus” of charges against the 8 indicted being dismissed by a judge and none of the victims or their families receiving anything in the way of meaningful compensation (civil damages were ultimately reduced to legal costs, despite the finding that the killings were unjustified and illegal).

    And that’s just the tinniest slice of this shithole’s history that has been largely papered over with propaganda boosting the myth of the US being the “shining city on a hill” and champion of democracy. Don’t even get me started on the US treatment of South and Central America throughout its history.




  • Any advice on how to do work like other people? I am quick to grab my phone everytime I get even slightly stressed or don’t immediately know the answer to a problem.

    Assuming that you have ADHD based on your other comment, I do, actually, from my own struggles with AuADHD. First thing, is a bit of radical acceptance. If you are not neurotypical, especially if ADHD and/or ASD are involved, you’re not and never will be “like other people”. No pill known by medical science, no strategy, and no therapy is going to change that because it has to do with the brain developing differently in physical structural ways than a neurotypical brain and it’s likely genetic or epigenetic.

    That doesn’t mean that there’s no hope for functionality. Just that one must approach things differently and “calibrate” strategies to work with, rather than against their brain. Importantly, it also means that most “productivity hacks” and the like are utterly useless because they were developed with a neurotypical brain as the starting point.

    When it comes to doom scrolling and the like, when stressed, you’re actually at a good starting point in that you are aware of what is happening and at least somewhat aware of the cause. It might not seem apparent but, emotion is a significant component of ADHD. The biggest thing to know is that if you are fighting against a heightened emotional state that is causing you to be unable to start or continue something, it can be like quicksand. Constantly running into that emotional brick wall isn’t going to help.

    So, what do you do? Well, the same thing isn’t necessarily going to work for everyone. Something that I’ve been working on with my therapist is a strategy from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) that is called the “STOP” skill (here’s a link). Essentially, it involves analyzing your state in the moment and mindfully deciding on a path forward.

    If, like many with ADHD including myself (this was a fun thing to become aware of well into adulthood), you are not super comfortable with your emotions and/or have alexithymia (trouble identifying, describing, and expressing ones own emotions), it could be useful to find an emotion wheel or feelings wheel. There are many versions out there. The important thing is to find one that makes sense to you - I like the ones that start more general in the center and get more specific in the edges. To use that type to figure out how you are feeling (or evaluate how you were feeling from memory), just start with your finger in the center and work your way outwards to the emotion that most fits. Practicing this when not in a moment of stress can help to make it easier when you need it.

    Other things that you can try are: practicing meditation so that it is easier to use when you need it and, if necessary, making your phone inaccessible, if you don’t need it. Overall, the goal is to improve coping strategies available to you in order to make it easier to use ones that serve you and your well-being.

    And it takes a lot of time for me to do something, it takes other very little (at least compared to me). Any advice on that?

    Again, assuming that you have ADHD here. The first thing that you’ll need to do is identify the causes. I, for example, often have a lot of trouble reading (even though I love it and was at a college level vocabulary in primary school). For me, this is caused entirely by ADHD, resulting in re-reading paragraphs and sometimes individual sentences multiple times before they “stick”. This caused a lot of problems for me when I was a child didn’t receive any treatment for it.

    Another common thing for ADHD is getting too granular and getting into analysis paralysis or stuck planning rather than doing. I find that setting limits on myself helps to reduce this. For example, if I need to write a program, I might get stuck evaluating what language to use, what libraries to use, which perform better under a given workload, etc. I need to set limits on how long I can take to research and try to make the scope of the work as small as possible to avoid either getting sick in perpetual planning or perpetual research.

    Ultimately, you need to evaluate why you are taking longer to do the tasks, which is likely not just one thing, and start chipping away at the things that are causing the time sink in manageable bites. Don’t try to fix everything at once!


  • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.orgtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldi broke
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    7 days ago

    What issues are you dealing with (if you feel like sharing)? I can speak from my experience being in therapy for AuADHD, anxiety, depression, childhood traumas, and a few other things.

    ETA: Some generic things from my therapist that will help most people:

    • Drink enough water. This alone can have a significant impact.
    • Try to do regular physical activity that you enjoy, if possible. Even if you don’t feel like it.
    • Check your posture. If you find yourself hunching, try fixing that.
    • Do things that you know that you enjoy when you are not depressed, when you are depressed. Our brains are weird and “fake it 'til you make it” kinda works - by doing non-depressive things, you can trick your brain into being happier.
    • Try to engage socially, if you find yourself to be a hermit. Our brains are evolved to be social animals and isolation can be damaging.
    • If you are having trouble with the state of the world and things that you do not have control over, try engaging in things that you do have control over. This can be as simple as deep cleaning your sink or fixing a squeeky hinge. The amount of frustration caused by inability to impact important global happening is problematic for maintaining good mental health - our brains evolved in environments where life-threatening problems had immediate solutions but humans have built societies that don’t work that way.

    Important items

    • Be patient and kind to yourself. Especially your past self. We all did cringy things when young with brains not fully-developed and/or without the information that one has currently. If you have trouble doing so, try mentally taking a step back and pretending that you are dealing with a close friend who you care about deeply. Would you judge them and make them feel bad about their past mistakes? I hope not.
    • Concern and depression about the world at large is a very valid way to feel. It’s important, especially for those of us with mental health challenges, to take the airplane safety spiel “put your own mask on first before helping others” approach to rendering aid to others. If you are in or near crisis, you are not in a place to help others and need to focus on getting to stable ground yourself first. Needing to do this isn’t slacking off or “not doing your part”. Not everyone is equipped to be out marching all the time (some are not equipped for this at all). If someone offers unhelpful criticism of inability to engage physically due to mental or physical health, they are best ignored rather than responded to.