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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • Now we are so far down that discussion that your first point of the 10% ghouls is also valid for my position. Your examples are cherry picked examples of saints so yeah it could be possible doing well in life in a fucked up society while being no asshole. But do you think your examples are the norm if you consider the population as a whole, since the original poster chose this as his metric to identify good partners? I think there is big correlation between somebody that is doing well in a fucked up society and assholes. Since the being happy part in most people I know comes from ignorance, missing empathy or missing education. And doing well financially comes from the same three plus exploitation or inheritance.

    And for the rest:

    Things like

    out of my control entirely done everything they can to help

    doesn’t sound fitting. Like there are people who build a community garden center because they like gardening and people who report from war zones. And I don’t think it has something to do with them liking war so much.

    So yeah maybe you should have clinical depression because the EU drowning thousands of refugees if that leads to action against this. Since more garden centers won’t change the world.

    I will keep ignoring the last two questions because I have the feeling they will just get us further away from the original post.


  • You’re the only one talking about abstract ethical systems. The original discussion is about being a good catch for doing good in life. And doing good in terms of being generally happy (your interpretation) while seeing the world suffer is the opposite of being empathic. Because empathy is a valuable good in relationships. So this is in my view not the best catch but there are levels to this.


  • Yes it is called empathy, it’s nothing you can buy yourself out of by doing good things. If you are somehow interested in the well being of the people it just doesn’t magically disappear after helping some of them. It doesn’t make you evil but it’s certainly not a good sign to weigh these things against each other. The ability to feel good while seeing the world suffer seems to me problematic.




  • I’m really sorry for this view on yourself. I don’t know how to change this since the default variants that I have been told didn’t work out for me either but I am really sure that prioritizing somebody else over yourself or as you said protecting somebody from getting cursed with one self is one of the most harmful ways to see things. It makes it a lot harder to come close to somebody since you are framing the avoidance as something helpful for them