I’m not catholic, but I’m pretty sure they would object to extracting the popes pelvis.

Dude. No. Any day you graduate is a good day. It took me 10 years. Don’t stop.

I’m aware, and I know how to simulate choking without harming the person.

When I say “choke”, I mean I lock my fingers in a grasping position and lift up against their jaw. It’s simulated choking. I’m well aware of the danger in cutting off blood flow to the brain.

Someone called me a rapist for saying that I’ve choked women during sex. Consenting, adult women.

You should read the book “Wolf and Iron”

You think I have the energy to run on all fours?

Made a trebuchet that almost destroyed a neighbor’s car. Tried to build a fuel-air bomb out of kerosene and a shotgun shell. Made napalm out of gasoline and styrofoam. Huntes squirrels with a .22 rifle.

Weird childhood.

Oh shit. I need to watch this.

Minecraft. You think that there’s no way to play Minecraft “wrong”, right up until you accidentally fall into the 4-block wide valley that I’ve cut through the entire map or walk into the liminal space that I’ve mined out just above bedrock. Fuck cutesy cottages and Minecraft in minecraft- let’s just build superstructures that disappear beyond the draw distance of the map. Fuck creative mode- let’s do it while we’re facing down mobs day and night. Fuck explosives- do that shit with a pick like a goddamn man. You haven’t really seen confused rage until your child discovers hundreds of unexplained and unexplainable brutalist towers extending into the distance like the gravestones of alien gods when they thought you were building a farm over the next hill.

My mom always said, that if you do what you love you’ll never work a day in your life.

Hell: An eternity of the skin-peelingist, ball crushingst torture you can imagine. Eyeball needles. The works. Because everyone has a creative psychological hell that’s worse than actual torture-hell, but to those people I say- have you tried torture-hell? Humans can rationalize anything, but it’s hard to rationalize a good ball crushing.

Heaven: The abandoned residential belt around Birmingham, Alabama on a hot Saturday afternoon. Immediately following two months of torture-hell.

I like furries because I appreciate modern technology. If all the furries went to lunch at the same time, we’d be eating each other in the streets before they made it to the diner.

That’s the problem with society- all the damn people. *Shakes fist at cloud*.

Load the goddamn plane by column, window seats to aisle seats, grouped by odd/even seat numbers and make people line up largest seat number to smallest. It takes an extra five minutes before you board the plane and saves you twenty or thirty. It wouldn’t even cost you the five if it was the standard.