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It’s likely just gas.

Dick Johnson?

I don’t recommend getting it at Walmart.

In the unlikely event you don’t have eleven fingers, you could use an apostrophe.

Corn people figure these things out.

Are you a longitudinal or latitudinal eater?

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

The day before yesterday with great confidence.

…and I’ll show you a cigar trick I’ve been working on.

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The only way to win is not to play.

Every other person? So nobody feels safe.

tl;dv - too long; didn’t view

This cat has been napping too long.

I removed myself from the streaming service today, too. They no longer have most of what I watch.

Nice ash!

My bad. Another commenter gave the same responseius.

Assius to Assius!

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