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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 9th, 2023

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  • Oh yeah, this is super relatable.

    I have a very complicated relationship with my heritage. (I come from a Middle Eastern country.)

    As a teen I would stay up at night wishing I was white (because my white friends’ parents were OK with me being queer. They showed me a kind of love my life was so sorely lacking in.)

    Whenever I’d come home I’d have to put the proverbial mask back on, but no matter what, I couldn’t work my way out of being a disappointment to the family. I felt like a prisoner in my own house and I knew other people had it different.

    My mother also used to throw my medication (antidepressants) away because “chemicals bad” and it’ll “ruin [my] brain”, essentially. And so I’d deal with withdrawal too.

    I was victimised by a combination of difficult life circumstances, and (really, mostly) a rigid, conservative, and intolerant culture.

    As an adult now, my feelings about this are not so black and white; I am proud of where I’m from. But I do feel for younger me. And I’m still damaged from my childhood. Always will be.





  • Not at all. On the contrary, I found them quite liberating, for 2 main reasons:

    • not having to decide what to wear every day
    • I was in a British private school, where students came from upper middle class to upper class backgrounds. A lot of the really rich students were shallow, superficial, and cruel. If we didn’t have uniforms we would have had a serious bullying problem against those who couldn’t afford to wear high end/designer brands.

    The only downside is that we had to pay for the uniforms, and they were quite expensive compared to the awful materials they were made of. I had 3 sets on rotation.



  • Ah, sorry I hadn’t appreciated you were after split tunnelling… You can do this with Tailscale for services where you’re connecting to a fixed IP/FQDN, which I think rules out torrenting/P2P unfortunately.

    The only way I’ve seen to pass a specific app’s traffic through Tailscale appears to be an Android exclusive feature.

    If I’m wrong someone please correct me!


  • You can absolutely use Tailscale; your host in the unrestricted country needs to be set up as an exit node (CLI argument in Linux, or a menu option in the system tray in Windows.)

    Then, your local machine needs to be set up to use that remote machine as its exit node. (tailscale up --exit-node=remote-tailnet-ip-here)



  • I break almost every stereotype from my country of origin… I’m quiet, on time (much to the dismay of people who give me a time 1hr before they actually expect me), and can’t grow a thick/full beard to save my life.

    Being an engineer is pretty stereotypical, although that’s true for a ton of Asians, so not awfully specific.

    I guess… speaking strictly in silly technicalities here, then the stereotype I “fit” is “terrorist” (on the basis that people where I live – the UK – are getting arrested and charged with terrorism for expressing support for Palestine/criticising the genocide.) Obviously, I’m being facetious here, but we live in an insane world.

    For context, I’ve lived my whole life as a ‘displaced person’ / immigrant without a permanent home, so I don’t feel that there is one place that has particularly shaped me or my personality.

    Any guesses for where I’m “originally” from?

    Edit: I’d actually never heard that stereotype about Filipinas! The only one I know (applies to all genders) is that you guys are incredible singers. :)


  • I don’t feel like I can give you literal conversation starters that aren’t super boring or generic (like chats about the weather), without way more context than is possible to obtain at this stage.

    But, one thing that did help me strike conversations and eventually friendships with people, was just hanging around campus doing stuff that piqued other people’s interest.

    A couple of times it was me playing on my Nintendo 3DS between lectures, and once someone even came up to me to compliment my Sony Discman.

    Other times it might be something as simple as there not being any empty tables in the cafeteria, so you ask to sit with someone. If they’re not clearly busy or studying, you might start by asking what course they do, how they’re finding it, etc. These are all fairly passive approaches though, and that’s possibly related to my extreme introversion.

    A slightly more active suggestion – take advantage of group assignments! (As much as I hate them.) Make plans to meet up. Get a few hours of work done together then hang out with a few beers or a soda or whatever. Win-win.