The movie was written as a joke, but unfortunately society decided to use it as a road map.

Here I was thinking the UCA was his plan.

I loved my Windows phone… the lack of quality apps was their real downfall IMO.

Goth girls = boots?

Why is French toast always left out of the debate?

Looks like IHOP pancakes and a Waffle House waffle. Neither establishment is known for high-quality dining… however, a waffle house all-star special while half drunk at 3am hits on a different level.

Keep going. We haven’t sunk Florida yet.

It’s sad how far the military standards have fallen over the last couple of decades. On the upside with shit cardio, these fat boys shouldn’t be challenging to evade.

Did they not have any good choices?

Street racers aren’t just criminals, they’re also extremely selfish people who put their “hobby” above the safety and well-being of the general public.

If you want to race a car, go find a track.

Three for each, or is one of them greedy?

It is possible to be empathetic about the manner of his death and the suffering it has caused while still being happy he is gone.

My grandpa always used to say, “aging ain’t for whimps.” Never really understood him until more recently as I age.