How can you actively prevent it from getting worse—like starting now/today?
Housing
How to make money independently with elderly or another disenfranchised group.
Thinking of doing massage therapy in addition to tech help. Want to be of benefit to peoples lives. But be independent.
Trying word of mouth. But actively marketing self is a hurdle too.
Massage therapy is a god send that should be part of normal Healthcare!
Depression. Lots of depression. And anxiety. And probably some other stuff.
Tried tons of different treatments and nothing has really worked. Going to try therapy again on recommendation of my psychiatrist, but I’ve only had negative experiences with therapy and I still really don’t see how it’s going to fix anything.
what about a radical lifestyle adjustment.
Thanks. I never thought of that. /s
Big problem: I’ve spent too much time trying to install Seafile in my environment.
Prevent it from getting worse: Maybe just use Filebrowser?
Developed a short attention span, no clue how to fix it atp.
I have low self-esteem and that’s from just people been shitty to me. I could go on but I don’t want to trauma dump (at least, try to prevent myself from doing it).
That being said, I’m planning to get therapy, go to more social events if I have the energy to do so and maybe next year, try get back to swimming. I stopped around when I was in lockdown in 2020 and I forgot about it since.
My spoon is too big.
My asshole is bleeding
Anus*
🙏
“A great Kanchō appears”
I live in a giant bucket
I’ve been at my current job for four years now. For three years I enjoyed it, but then came a new process. I want to quit but the circumstances aren’t right right now. I just can’t stand this newer process, it’s just mind bogglingly bad. And every part of it is like the exact antithesis of what I can accomplish easily with my ADHD. Not that I’m hiding behind my diagnosis, but it just feels like every step of every single thing I have to do is in direct contrast to things I have the ability and executive function for. I want to scream.
I don’t know if there is active prevention, but I’m about to ask my boss to have a meeting to tell her that I am falling way behind because of this switch up. Basically cry for help - but really rather than help,I hope I can just fill a vacancy that deals with our legacy records and data, where my mind works.
My life is pretty much in limbo right now. I can’t get a job because I don’t have a bank account and I can’t get a bank account because I don’t have an ID and I can’t get an ID because my parents wont get me one. I’ve been asking for a bank account ever since I graduated high school back in 2016 but they just keep telling me “We’ll get you one eventually, we just don’t have time right now” despite the fact that they sit around playing video games all day. What frustrates me even more, is that they let my sister get a bank account and a part time job back when she was still in high school.
Yikes, that’s a long time to be stuck in what sounds like an abusive family dynamic. I’m so sorry.
I’m guessing you’ve looked into any possible alternative routes to an ID?
I have not looked into that, if there are other ways of getting an ID that are legal, I might try them.
Yeah, you should. What country are you in?
I live in the US. I actually checked online for what my state requires to get an ID and I don’t think it’s possible for me to do without my parents. The only things I have access to are my SSN and possibly my birth certificate but I would need to provide several additional documents that I either don’t have access to or have no idea how to provide them. It also seems like there isn’t a way to get one online unless you’ve previously gotten one, which I obviously haven’t.
So you’re in your 20’s, in the states, and have never had a bank account?
I won’t make assumptions about how that happened. I’m Canadian so I don’t know how helpful this will be since our regulations are a bit different, but have you tried just walking into a bank with everything you have and explaining the situation? If they can’t set up an account they should at least be able to point you in the right direction.
In Canada we can get a driver’s learner permit with minimal ID. Birth certificate, SSN and proof of address should be enough. If you can get that you’ll have a government issued photo ID and you’ll be set. Alternatively, we can get a provincial ID with minimum documentation, if you can’t get a driver’s licence. There must be some equivalent in the states.
Another option is to get someone to notorize a document and photo that says you are you. Just call a notary near you and ask how.
I would try going to the bank on my own, but I’m not allowed to leave the house alone because my parents will threaten to call the police on me because they think I’m suicidal.
That also rules out the last thing you said because even if I could get an ID through that method, I still wont be able to get a bank account.
It sounds like the root problem is not being able to leave the house.
Do you know anyone who can escort you? Furthermore, “leaving the house while suicidal” isn’t a crime. You’re a legal adult, so unless there are measures in place the cops can’t force you to do anything. Even if they can bring you back, you can probably set some stuff up before they find you.
do you have trustworthy friends or relatives that can help you out? this seems shittier than it looks…
can you look up the documentation for it and steal it from you parents? find a way to sneak to the dmv so you can get your id?
In the US, there’s Adult Protective Services that might be able to help you.
My mother has Alzheimer and it’s costing us 15K/mo to care for her. She only has about a year of money left. She is in good physical health but mentally she is a toddler.
Nothing I can do about it. It’s the American healthcare system. Some problems are totally outside of anyone’s person control.
15k/month is a lot. Really a lot.
Have you considered the possibility of medical tourism, to say India? Any particular treatment/procedure that really requires you costly American doctors, and can’t be done elsewhere?
Or maybe closer like Canada? Even out of pocket you might save more in Canada healthcare.
that isn’t how reality works.
it’s not medical care. it’s eldercare.
that isn’t how any of this works. You don’t ship people off to other countries like they are cattle. Jesus.
Normal people (not just old people, young too) visit other cities/states/countries for treatment/education/work/tourism.
None of that turns them into cattle (or Jesus), as far as I have seen.
So what are you paying 15k per month for if not full care and dumpint her in an elderly home?
Loneliness is actually destroying my life
Do you do anything to change that?
one thing i notice abotu ‘lonely’ people is they systematically refuse to change anything in their life.
and this is often from people who are not ‘lonely’ on the outside, but their many relationships are entirely performative. and they have built up their entire life as one big act.
There ain’t a whole hell of a lot I can do to change my present situation. Believe me, i’d love nothing more. At the end of the day, it comes down to money and time of which I don’t have much of either. I genuinely believe if I could live and work in the city and make enough to get by and then some, the vast majority of my problems would be solved. Unfortunately for me, I live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.
As for your second point, assuming I understand it correctly; The only positive relationships I’ve been able to maintain are that of my sisters. I try to be honest and genuine with others but they either don’t vibe with me or they try to take advantage of me. I get discouraged with trying. I had to end my first serious friendship because she kept trying to use me and if I objected to her she’d just pressure me more and try to make me feel bad. I have trust issues as a result of that experience. I asked out a woman I really felt a connection with and she told me she liked me too, then she found out I don’t have a drivers license and told me she wanted to be friends. I honestly can’t say I blame her.
If you have all the answers, what should I do? Therapy? Been there, done that. I went to therapy for years before my therapist terminated because she felt there wasn’t anything more she could do. By the way, that question was rhetorical.
This is an extremely reductive take based on anecdote.
There are a lot of reasons people can feel lonely. Hell you can even feel lonely when you have deep meaningful relationships. Sometimes it’s a result of anxiety or depression, or an abusive relationship.
Of course some people fall into the category you speak of too.
billionares also feel like they are poor and struggling and only that next 10 billion will make them successful.
that doesn’t mean it’s true. it means they are mentally ill.
reality exists outside of our feelings.
and this is often from people who are not ‘lonely’ on the outside, but their many relationships are entirely performative. and they have built up their entire life as one big act.
This isn’t an attack as I don’t interpret your comment as being malicious, this is just an observation from an outside observer of this interaction.
You may be right about lonely people and just sharing info you have noted from your own experiences with them in your life but that is a brutal take down of @daggermoon@lemmy.world when they are sharing a major problem in their life.
Your comment may hold true for them but we don’t know that so it feels more like an accusation and victim blaming than being helpful.
Hey @daggermoon@lemmy.world, I’ve been there. It can be rough.
If you don’t have someone to talk to about it have you tried a therapist or other mental health professionals? I find this is one of the most important first steps of any life issue being faced, just talk about it with someone who knows a thing or two about the topic, make it a regular and consistent conversation.
I don’t know your situation but if you need it, this helped me;
Being social and maintaining friendships is a skill that can be worked on, no one can run a marathon on their first attempt, it takes training.
Starting small and working your way up. Saying hello to a stranger in the street or making small talk with a check out clerk at the grocery store is a good place to start. If you struggle with small talk then practice that first and work up from there. If you struggle with social anxiety then breaking through can be hard, some people struggle more than others. Training these skills sets do produce positive results.
*Be kind, honest and fair with all people you interact with. This isn’t a mask to put on, the ideal to strive for is to be those things as a person.
*Talk to people about what they are interested in or doing (learn about them) instead of focusing on talking about yourself.
*Respect others boundaries.
*Regularly check in with those in your social circle/community, don’t wait for them to check in on you.
*Get outside. Don’t just spend time at school/work & home. Find a third place where you can blend in but also be a regular. Cafe, bar, pool hall, library, gym, reading in the park, walk/hike in an area you like… whatever aligns with your interests and feel you could eventually become comfortable existing in that space but it is also a place where you are not required to be social. Eventually becoming comfortable with being in that space lowers anxiety of being there and you start to recognize the regulars and they start to recognize you. That makes socializing easier since you are now comfortable in the space and familiar to others who are regulars as well.
You get back what you give out. Do not expect to connect with everyone and not everyone will reciprocate your attention or interest but if you do it enough you will find those who do. Keep at it and you will find more and more.
Good luck and god speed!
Have you ever tried just not being lonely? Huh? You ever think of that? /s
it’s actually really not hard if you stop seeing validation from other people and seek it from yourself.
I am sad, poor, and stupid. i’m going to college and working an internship that pays halfway decent to fix the latter two. And for the first, well, its just like Meatloaf said: “Don’t be sad, 'cause two out of three aint bad.”
I am also sad, poor and stupid. I have no chance of ever escaping this either. hugs I hope you find some relief soon
Young, Dumb, Young Dumb and Broke.
Dude. If you got into college you aren’t dumb, and the good job may help your mood (as my husband says, money doesn’t buy happiness but sure removes a lot of the stresses and lacks that cause sadness.)
My best wishes to you, and also to that weird vegan who is in a similar situation. I can’t say things will get better but will say things CAN get better.
If I actually study i could pass the driving exam I have failed several times. But I just doing have motivation to do it.
What if you just did a page today or bought an app that quizzes you on stuff and you do a single question
Yea… I know…
How long do you reckon it takes?
Not even 5 min
Is that from experience or best guess
Experience.
Experience is preferable so thats perfect cuz its a track record
What did you do that time? Like right before you did it, what nudged you to get on it? What was the cue?
Do you study on your own? I study as well in my spare time and it really helps me so much to stay on the “timeline” with learning if I co-learn with someone in a zoomcall. It just motivates me to learn if I see someone doing their shit I guess 😅 and maybe you can plan a drive to somewhere beautiful as a reward for yourself?
(unaskedforadvice, sorry)
It’s all self study in my own time. I already have a licence in my home country but because of the visa I am on I have to go through both the theory and practical tests to get a local license.
Being in Europe public transport is good so it’s not like we are missing too much on going places just takes more planning.
ok fair, I’m currently planning to sell my car because of finances so I’ll rely on our public transport to be fine (except DB). Seems annoying to have to do the same test but in a different language. My neighbour doesn’t finish her driving license for the same reason, so at least you’re not alone with this 🫠
I discovered this week that i might have been depressed for 7 years, dunno how i didnt notice, i just thought i was lazy as hell
don’t sell yourself short. you are probably depressed and lazy.
When I got diagnosed it took a while to come to terms with it because I’ve always felt this way. It’s strange having all the happiness I can remember occurring simultaneously as being clinically suicidal. Almost feels more hopeless after being diagnosed because turns out I’m just like this and that’s how it’s gonna be going forward.
Finances. Coming out of a full year with paid sick leave into a job that’s only half the time and ergo half the money as before (but also less money than sick leave was, had a fulltime job before). But I can’t work more due to health issues. Gotta have to figure out my finances asap to prevent it to get worse. Been there done that, but this time my mental health is reclaining (solo parent while full time working since 15 years) and it feels heavier this time. But I’m gonna get over this 💪
