lol, i know you’re joking, but this is the kinda thing i think actually really confuses and scares people who are unfamiliar with linux. There absolutely are really great distros out there that aren’t the big players, but for a newcomer they can probably stick to a big distro that seems nice and if they start getting the bug they can come back for a deeper dive. deciding to just do it is way more important than getting it “right” imo.