When I was in my early 20s Tinder/Hinge were absolutely popping off. I met with a girl for dinner. We talked about if it went well we would go back to my place and hook up. It did and we ended up in my bed. She started touching me and said “oooooo so big”. I immediately started laughing which made her laugh. I’m fine, but I do not have a big dick, she and I both knew that. We laughed about it more and she said she was just trying to be nice. Ended up being one of the more funny sexual encounters I had.
My ex and I were roommates with 3 other people. The others were all gone and we were in my room getting ready, she got up to get lube or a vibrating cock ring or something, I can’t remember. But she left the door open. I’m laying there, dick straight up in the air when her cat jumps on my bed. Whatever, it’ll leave when we get down to business. But no, the cat sneakily crawls between my legs and licks the underside of my helmet. Right where that line of skin is that connects head to shaft. I freaked, cat freaked and ran off, I go soft and the mood is over.
If you thought a cats tongue was scratchy on your hand…
Were you tied down or what?
Nope, just wasn’t expecting that.