Coming from a world where the word itself is not even widely know, the idea of being raised as child without any explanations about the world or comforts to be held, scares me. I always heard on the internet of people leaving their religion as teenagers when they were raised by their parents religiously. Lots of people fall into existentialism, which makes sense to me
But what of a child. I am a very anxious person(as i have come to accept). Being told that there is nothing after death or that no one really knows, would have send me spiraling. That said, logically, people have done it(even if i can’t picture it) so i am also wondering how people/parents grappled with this and struggles they faced, what solutions they come up with
Also, on the opposite of the spectrum, what happens when your child converts(?) to a religion. Yes its there choice and all, but i cant imagine there being no resentment or conflicted feeling
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You can explain everything about the world to a child by reason alone. And once they become rational themselves they’ll be able to determine that since there is no evidence at all for any god ever existing they can dispense with that fairytale.
without any explanations about the world or comforts to be held
Neither of these require religion.
I find more comfort in the real and tangible human experience. Most of us are caring and social creatures if we let ourselves be.
I think that framework encourages people to become compassionate and kind because they know it’s all we have.
At its best, religion adds a layer of coping which is not based in any reality. At its worst, it sets people on a path for alienation and seeing themselves and/or others as less than human (depending on the neuroses and likely trauma).
Dealing with no easy answers throughout your life can bring you to many existential questions and even depression at times but, as long as you have the strength/support/self care to keep and adapt your sense of self, you will be stronger for that introspection.
I choose growth.
are you saying “god” is a good explanation for the world?
why not tell them the truth? we dont know everything. when we die, unexplainable. thats literally just fact. you might have spiralled but it sounds like youre religious. so that isnt surprising.
But telling them about a god and eternal hellfire if you sin? thats the worst lie you could say
Sorry for the meta, but why is everyone downvoting what appears to be a sincere question coming from someone in a culture where religion predominates?
I agree with most of the replies here, but don’t understand the downvotes to asking the question.
I think the downvotes stem from his opening line that he has some special knowledge of “the word”. It implies out of the box that those who see the world differently than him just have a flaw in that they didn’t know “the word”. Nothing about his question needed the preamble that implied any other views than his are defective for lack of knowledge of “the word”. -edit for typo.
I think the downvotes stem from his opening line that he has some special knowledge of “the word”.
But I am atheist now? What I meant to say was that I grew up religious and its hard for me to imagine raising a child without religion, seeing as how that’s the one template I ever head.
I don’t know what world view you thought i had.
don’t understand the downvotes to asking the question
You and me both.
It was just a question that bothered me for a while. At times, Lemmy(and reddit more so) feel like you will hit a never without even knowing what it is.
Maybe you grew up with so much anxiety due to religion itself? I’m the opposite, I live in an area which has almost no religious people and I feel everybody is very calm and friendly. Maybe the idea of eternal hell or heaven might be triggering that unconsciously in you
Yeah, I feel like Christians make a big deal out of life vs. death. Life is declared this super great thing that was gifted to them by their god. And death is described like an eternal departure into the unknown.
Meanwhile, if you view things in a much more mundane way, life is just your atoms jiggling about. It’s not particularly bad, when they stop jiggling together.
But even if you do prefer them being part of a pile that’s deemed ‘alive’, your left toe is probably gonna get eaten by a worm and brought into a field, where a plant will pick up the atoms and grow some seeds, which get carried by a bird into the next forest and so on. Your atoms will almost certainly be part of many alive piles of atoms going forward.I was talking to a born-again about faith and she’s so worried about the people around her making a mistake and going to hell. And not in the evangelical sense of shouting about her Bible, but just an innate fear of bad things happening to her loved ones in the afterlife.
…the idea of being raised as child without any explanations about the world or comforts to be held, scares me.
Your understanding of atheism is uhh, questionable.
To answer this question, the world was explained through science. Carl Sagan was the shit back then. Comforts are more tangible things like family or food rather than an imaginary “after”.
With logic and rational thinking instead of fear and magical thinking.
I have found that children don’t need lies to comfort them. By nature, children are curious and crave understanding. It’s important for parents to respect that and equip them both with what we already know, and the skills to keep exploring. Engage with them, help them understand the questions, feed their innate sense of wonder. Eventually they’ll teach you a thing or two.
I find no comfort in implausible lies, and I feel a need to help my kids avoid that discomfort. I also want them to have agency in life, so they need to understand how such lies are used by society to try and control them.
Sounds like you have difficulties of your own that you may want work on before concerning yourself with others.
You can’t help another sailboat if your own boat isn’t stable.
I highly recommend some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - recognizing your own anxiety shows you at least have that awareness. Learning to reframe it will go a long way.
Going through life “as an anxious person” as if that’s unchangeable, is no way to live.
As someone with gad. Cbt was so helpful
There is actually no need to talk to children about gods. Those questions you imply only religion could answers usually don’t pop up in a childrens world except when brought in from external sources.
Well put. Religion’s answers may even stifle the child’s own inquisitive thought.
“the idea of being raised as child without any explanations about the world or comforts to be held, scares me.”
What a strange thing to say. What makes you think atheists do this? I tell my children what we know about the world, and what we don’t yet know. No need to make up anything short of Santa and the Tooth Fairy, but they grow out of this fast.
“Also, on the opposite of the spectrum, what happens when your child converts(?)”
I can only speak for myself, not atheists, but my kids are encouraged to make up their own minds. I take every opportunity to discuss religion and my kids even go to a catholic school. I consider it essential to understand history art and culture.
That said, they are very comfortable with atheism and they don’t find any of religion comforting, quite the opposite. It’s disturbing to them.
What would I tell a kid they must adore a guy who would burn entire cities and shit? I’d rather teach the kid tolerance.
The joy of not knowing is discovery. I’d rather be told the truth that we don’t know, rather than being lied to in certainty.
One of the criticisms of being raised in a specific faith is that the children do not choose their faith, they are already in it.
So being raised by an atheist and then choosing a religion would carry more weight and meaning because it was a conscious decision made deliberately by that person.
This is my view. I am not going to force a religion on a kid. Let them make their choice. There are already plenty id people blindly following something only because their parents/friends/guardians did. A lot of them are just halfassing it because they don’t truly believe, but don’t know what else to do.
When you say “without any explanations of the world”, I think you misunderstand.
There are plenty of explanations that don’t involve God.
For example… years ago I worked in a bookstore, this was around when Twister was out, dad came in with his son who was desperately afraid of tornadoes, specifically, if an F5 could destroy a town, he was convinced the big red spot on Jupiter was like an F1,000,000 and was coming to get him.
Dad was looking for books to talk him down.
Now, someone steeped in religion would have gone down the road of God this, God that, chosen people, etc. etc. etc.
So I sat the kid down…
“OK, so at a basic level, what is a tornado?”
“Wind?”
“Right! Really fast wind, wind in a hurry. And what is wind made out of?”
“…?”
“Well, it’s made of air, right? Look, you’re breathing some right now! It’s just not going fast.”
“OK…”
“Well, there’s no air in space, right? So there’s no way for the spot on Jupiter to get off Jupiter.”
‼️
“But what if it could?”
"Well, you know gravity, right? Makes things fall down? Gravity is stronger on Jupiter. Hang on, I think we have it in a book…
Yeah, here you go, 2.5 times stronger than Earth. Let’s say you weigh 100 pounds, you would weigh 250 pounds on Jupiter!
So, no air in space, and everything on Jupiter is heavier, way harder to leave."
Dad was thrilled that his kid wasn’t having a perpetual anxiety attack.
Yeah, yeah, I know, the spot is technically hydrogen and helium and not air, but explain like I’m five, right?
