Bit of a shower thought: Outside of limited circumstances, like interviews or therapy, nobody is really expected to give you honest feedback on how you come across.
This sucks. I’ve been told I come across as unfriendly once, but I have no idea if I was just nervous and tired at the time. I still cherish that one moment almost 10 years ago when someone told me I was funny in some corporate team building bs.
Now, I could ask friends and family, but I believe they would probably not tell me the full, honest truth. After all, they (hopefully) like me and I would probably avoid being too harsh to everyone but very close people in private.
At the same time, I know plenty of people who really should get some feedback, who probably believe they are funny while everyone is bored and annoyed and hopes they talk a little less and the like.
So, are there socially accepted ways to get feedback on how you come across?
I realize that people are strange, relationships are hard, P!=NP and anime is not real. Still, it would be nice to have.
I don’t know if it’s a coincidence but when I met Finnish people, they always made comments about how you come across. One I remember is “you’re not very likeable but at least you’re not creepy”. So… Go to Finland?
I guess I have to. On the other hand, I heard Finnish people don’t like human contact anyway, so… meh
The Netherlands are known to have the bluntest people in the world to the point of articles wondering about Dutch rudeness proliferating across the Internet. I had no idea that Finland was similar.
Yeah, I’m not sure where that comes from. Mostly Reddit myths that people seem to take too serious. The Dutch keep to themselves mostly.