Right at the very end of college, I had a casual dating thing that was artificially extended by covid - he lost his job and ended up moving in to my studio, I lost all my in-person classes and hobbies - and we spent entirely too much time together for two people with so little in common. About a month before graduation, I had a big think about my future, realized this wasn’t the guy I was meant to marry, and ended things. I spoke with my ex once or twice right after the breakup, and he seemed to be taking it well. He said he saw it as an opportunity to make some life changes of his own, and he thought it would be good for him in the long run. Good, thats exactly what I’d hoped for.

Well, a few weeks later, after two months of no contact, he started sending me 10 minute voice messages where he was just weeping and begging for me back. I tried to send some supportive replies to my ex, but I kept it brief to not lead him on. Fast forward a few months. When we’d been together, my ex and I had traded laptops. My old laptop, which he still had, still had my old pictures on it. I contacted him and asked for my old laptop back, even temporarily, to get my pictures.

Well. He was furious. He said I had some nerve to ask him for anything after mistreating him in the relationship (???) and in the breakup (???). He said he could not consider doing me any favors until he got a real apology. Sigh. I apologized. Not good enough. I apologized harder. Nope, not good enough. Ugh, fine. I groveled. Finally satisfied, he announced that he would give me the laptop … over a romantic candlelit dinner.

I was able to make up some excuse about a work trip, get him to give the laptop to my friend, and then cancel dinner (which lead to more sobbing over voice notes). But wow, the nerve!