Tbf, a family-sized (now party-sized) bag of Doritos does contain a day’s worth of calories (2250) for a single person. I can’t keep them in the house, they call to me.

I miss the old military surplus stores. 2/3 of the stuff was cheap crap, but every now and then you’d find something insane. I had this flat periscope, it was designed to go up through a slot on the roof of a tank. You could easily stand on it, and it wouldn’t have broken.