I have nothing to brag about.

While not quite salty enough, I made same absolute banging chicken alfredo today, and the naan-dough I made has risen impressively

When college aged, I modeled for a few art majors’ photo projects.

I caused a pizza delivery car to run off the road through the power of my pelvic thrusts. Thankfully they corrected quickly and no one was hurt.

My mental breakdown has their own Facebook page.

I started numerous traditions in my social circles.

I’m reasonably good at taking postcard quality photos with garbage equipment.

I’ve been on radio, as a PSA to get your bum fingered for prostate cancer. Edited the recording myself too. The cadence of saying “digital rectal exam” is burned into my memory, from listening to the audio so damn much while editing.

I made a Smash Bros Brawl hack that quickly became a local mainstay of gaming get togethers (even outside of my immediate social circle) and persisted after I left the area. Ton of custom stuff layered over Brawl Minus, long before infinite came around.

I’ve made a number of custom programs for making “glitch art”. Algorithms to screw with images. Toss in ~50 of my photos, run them through ~20 different functions that make psuedo-random changes, do ~10 runs per function to get even more results. Then delete the results down to ~10 worth keeping. More fun than it sounds.

I led a small marching group in an international parade on ~20 minutes of training while quite drunk. I directed them while holding a flagpole as an extension of my junk. They shouldn’t have let me, and I asked if they wanted a friend with actual marching experience to do it, but they said they wanted me to do it.

I’ve made multiple 6-10 hour drives, some on little sleep, to be there for friends and family in times of need.

Before I proposed to my wife, I spent a week smashing together existing romhacks of Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past and getting them to work properly combined by fiddling with the code, then I did a handful of custom modifications myself to the graphics and script. End result is a special version of the game with Zelda and Link swapped, then replaced by my then gf and I, that asked my then gf out on a date when she beat the first dungeon.

She then proceeded to nearly trip over me when I got down on one knee at the end of that date.

For the job that started my career, I was one of three candidates out of 35 who didn’t wear a suit to the first round, and I was still hired.

I turned a seasonal internship plugging in computers into a full time sysadmin/engineering position in the span of three and a half years, skipping a few intermediate positions at that workplace.

I have scripted business critical systems integrations at my workplace, that have impact on literally every employee.

I was the first person in my social circle to be able to afford a house, and my wife and I are the first ones who wanted a kid and had one intentionally.

And a “secret”: I only have a list this big because I have to remind myself of reasons to be proud of myself. Left to my own devices, I don’t tend to think I’m worth much, so every few years I sit down and try to make a little mental list. This is the combination of multiple ones.

I’m pretty good at Mario Kart. I hadn’t played it for about 10 years, but I beat all my friends when I played Mario Kart World for the first time with them recently.

I do go for the jack of all trades approach. So I’m not great at anything, but I’m good enough in most things.

My endurance might be above avarage, really useful for resistance training, giving me higher than avarage work capacity and recovery ability and can maintain it with a decent consistency.

Yeah i know that’s not exactly bragging, but I’m trying my best.

I didn’t go to college and knew I had to gain as much real work experience as I could to be competitive. That ultimately landed a managing position with a huge international company making about 80k a year.

That job drove me down so hard I ended up having a mental breakdown, went into a program, and quit the job.

I started over with another local company making $19 an hour. In a year and a half I’ve been promoted a few times and am now making 70k a year with the understanding from this place that I guard my mental health very closely and they e been absolutely cool with everything.

I got so good at supreme commander that I could 3vs1 my TeamSpeak friends and whoop them every time. Eventually they wouldn’t play with me.

I suck at every other RTS.

Also I’m an incredible lover, for real

I’m an awesome physicist. I’ve created valid solutions for a variety of problems the community thought impossible, as well as solved problems that nobody else was aware of. My first major solution was for the diffraction of waves through an aperture. As part of that solution I even improved upon Bethe’s solution. Bethe was a Nobel price winning physicist.

I solved a data science issue with working with a collection of arbitrary data sets in a systematic manner. That open source software is pysat, python satellite data analysis toolkit.

I invented a new neutral wind instrument for satellites called SANDS that also measures composition and temperature. It is smaller, faster, more robust, and requires less power than previous attempts. In fact the solution is a differential equation rather than a ‘simple’ formula. The reason is the instrument operates too fast to simplify the math.

Most recently I solved another impossible problem in plasma physics. Previously the community couldn’t correctly calculate the distribution of electric potential around the globe because they thought the magnetic field was too complicated. I can. My software solution also produces visual art though it was explicitly designed for physics.

I also invented a new class of musical instruments called photonic musical instruments. These instruments use the resonance of electricity and light to create music in the same way acoustic instruments use the resonance of vibrations in wood. Photonic instruments create music we can’t hear using colors we can’t see. I created a software plugin that authentically recreates photonic musical instruments but in a way that we can hear. I’m currently trying to market the plugin and my art which is proving to be quite the challenge.

I have bipolar and addiction issues. I’ve been sober and stable for 8 years. With a lot of work and therapy and meds I’m down to 2 episodes a year and stay very stable outside of those. I’ve also started a program in my city for addicts with mental health issues, for half the month it’s a peer support group, the other weeks we bring in local therapists to run free workshops on DBT skills and principles. This is often the only time many of my regulars can access mental healthcare. For someone with a major mental illness and low education I feel so proud of myself

The horrors persist, but so do I.

I can whistle from both ends!

Can I brag about my day? My husband and I got into a cycle of fucking, showering, smoking a joint, and (optionally) eating that repeated 6-7 times today. It was an absolutely perfect day off and we even got two loads of laundry done.

It’s super hot where we are (hence the showering), but our apartment is 3/4 underground, so it’s about 10C cooler than outside. Still warm, but not unbearable inside and we needed a way to pass the time, lol.

I can recognise almost 300 汉字 💅 it did take me about 8 months, life keeps getting in my way

also finally, formally medicated, no more self medocating for me!

also congrats to you OP!

My body is a machine that turns Vietnamese supermarkets into Mexican food for my lovely wife. I do not feel pain, or remorse, or pity, & I cannot be stopped unless I am killed.

I wanted to learn hardware design by designing a basic risc-v processor, ben eater style, kind of like a 1970s minicomputer, with expansion slots for new isa extensions and CSRs. But obviously using real breadboards for experimentation would be too slow when designing a 32 bit processor. I had never touched an hdl before.

So I sat down and started writing my own simulator and netlist generation dsl from scratch. It only works at the gate level, no behavioral synthesis, but flexible enough to write components modelling, for example, 74 series chips. It does vhdl-like delta cycle simulation using 8-valued logic, but without vhdl’s signal forwarding footgun.

I then implemented an rv32i processor with full m-mode support, and a risc-v emulator in rom to trap and silently emulate any missing extension instructions. When a new expansion board is plugged in, those instructions are simply not trapped and are accelerated in hardware.

I then learned just enough systemverilog to faithfully transliterate the generated netlist into structural verilog, and it actually synthesized and worked perfectly on an fpga.

I am now in the process of very slowly designing boards to hopefully one day manage to build the whole thing out of discrete 74hc series logic