Hey look, a participation trophy

I understand the point you’re making but refuse to give them the satisfaction.

Also let’s be real, there’s a distinct possibility it was changed because these dumbfucks can’t spell ‘defense’

I feel like millionaire might be too broad a term here but I can’t really think of a better phrasing. There is a pretty big difference between an accomplished neurosurgeon or something retiring at 65 with a few million and some asshat CEO retiring at 40 with 500+ million.

An actual lich, an 80s game show host, and the day shift manager everyone avoids being alone with

Honestly I think they’re trying to drag it out until Trump dies (or at least reaches the drooling vegetable stage of dementia). My guess is he’s in there to such an extent that they can’t even really remove him and have what’s left make sense, so they slow walk it until he dies and then release it. This, in turn, generates a massive enough scandal that they can probably redact whoever the fuck else they want without many people even noticing, but minimal actual consequences, as at the end of the day, everything is now directed at a dead man.

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Maybe he’s operating on Fred Flintstone rules and this time he’ll come around thinking he’s a racecar driver instead.

hopefully breaking something on the way down.

Ideally he rolls over Jimmy the Loveseat and Stephen Miller like the fucking boulder in Raiders of the Lost Arc

New lunch special - salami sub, “soup for my family”, and a twisted tea

Assault with a breadly weapon

Unless he’s gonna waddle his fat orange ass out there and do it himself, at this point these rulings are less about whether HE’S going to listen and more about whether the people actually doing his dirty work listen.

Hell, I could be ok with them giving him another one. Not for anything he’s actually done, just because it might literally give Trump a fucking coronary.

Figured in all likelihood this was either going to be something fucking disastrous or the most asinine bullshit possible. Nothing in the middle, just either “fuck it, civil war time” or whiskeyleaks found the ‘call the banners’ button and just could not fucking contain himself.

Hopefully it does indeed prove to be the latter, like it sounds to be.

Edit - also love that they picked the most b list supervillain photo possible for him

As he gets paler and more sickly looking, the contrast between the cheeto dust and his natural complexion gets more pronounced.

Fair enough, that’s what I get for skimming in a hurry this morning. Article title is still misleading imo though.

It passed the House, not the Senate, and looks like it was only unanimous for Republicans.