I prefer Bonespurs McPedoface, but that’s the thing about art. If you like it, you like it

Almost everyday my wife and I cook dinner together. For that time there’s no phones, no distractions. I treasure that time with her everyday.

Ah yes, the ouroboros is complete.

All of my cats flop down in front of the door and make a cute claw filled gauntlet for me to step around. I’ll have to take a picture

Moose, floof, and Napoleon. No I will not elaborate.

I’ve been saying this for years.

Yeah, just make them more robust and maybe add more steps between settings.

Another pardon incoming!

My favourite conspiracy theory is every Gideon bible has a listening device in it and you should put the bible in the safe so the Gideon’s don’t spy on you. Yes, I always put the bible in the safe. Yes, I leave it in there for housekeeping to find.

I was the lunch bartender and I arrived at the restaurant early to buy breakfast. I’m sitting down, off the clock, eating breakfast and my manager comes back and tells me there’s people at the bar. Bar doesn’t open until 11 (it’s 9:30) and I’m not on shift until 10. Manager says “You’re here, bar’s open.” So I finished my breakfast and head to the front. Before I can get a word out, before I even see the customers ones yelling “where ya been we’ve been here forever. We need bloody Marys, stat.”

Me" yes, of course. I just walked in the door. All the stuff’s in the back and I’ll probably have to prep some of it. So just sit back, relax, and I’ll be right back with those."

“What the fuck does that mean?” Says the alcoholic

“It means it’s gonna be a minute.” At this point I’m still off the clock, can’t clock in until 5 minutes before your shift without a managers card. Manager is walking by. I say “Manager, can I see you in the side server station?”

“Why?”

“I’d prefer not to discuss it here.”

“Just tell me what you want”

“I want to clock in and I need your card”

Upon hearing this the two get up, turn to the manager and ask “are you the manager?” And proceed to tell her all about my bad attitude. I didn’t get a chance to clock in.

This was a time where they were looking for any excuse to fire anyone, they let like 10 people go that week. A few months later the place was out of business.

The only halftime show that matters

I miss the days of the kitten superbowl halftime show

Some legends are born

No, china sucks. I lived there.

Get a new bucket list. Unless that bucket it the poo-paper bucket next to poo hole in the ground.

As to how either have money or bring your own TP.

My sweet summer child. Oh how green you are. You put the poopy paper in the poopy paper bucket next to the hole in the floor that you squat over and pray you hit the hole. You also put the poopy paper in the poopy paper bucket next to your toilet at home.

Not necessarily true. You’re guaranteed work and a minimum wage and if you’re disabled government will take care of you. Also basic healthcare is basically free. Things like electricity and telecom are subsidized too. But no, it’s definitely not a socialist utopia. It’s oppressive and censored and restrictive. Hyper consumerism is the norm.

Don’t forget no hand soap in the hospitals.

You’ve always had to pay for TP in China. Free toilet paper in public restrooms is exceedingly rare. Same with hand soap. So honestly this is an improvement. The west got this one right I’m afraid.

It’s the old people. They still remember famine and live like they’re going to go without any day now. Honestly how randomly china manages stuff the old people are probably right.