SorryImLate

I’m using a boox. I dislike their built-in library tools, but it’s just an e-ink android tablet, so I installed a simple launcher and download whatever apps I want, including Libby.

Why wait if you know what you want?

The short answer:
What you want will still be there in a few years from now. However the life phase 18-25 will only happen once. Embrace it, enjoy it, if you do it right it will be the times that you look back on together when you’re older with a smile and nostalgia. You will also be better parents later, with more emotional maturity and greater financial stability.

The long answer:
You’re asking whether 20 is too young to marry. You should be asking whether 18 is too young, since she is even younger than you are. In almost all circumstances, I would say you are both too young. The only exception could be if you live in a culture where she needs to marry to leave her parents house. Even then, she should be cautious, because in cultures like that a marriage could end up trapping her more. You may not intend to trap her, but if divorce is taboo in your culture, that taboo is generally even stronger for women, and it is a risk that you should protect her from.

What concerns me more than msrriage is your talk about wanting to start a family. You’re definitely both too young for that to be a good idea, either for you or your kids.

If your relationship is strong, it doesn’t require a marriage licence, and there is no need to rush having kids. Your late teens and early twenties are formative years in which you will both grow incredibly. It’s an important period of independence from your parents during which you can explore the world and your place in it, but also a period to have fun and do crazy, silly, exciting things. Go to parties, go bungee jumping, go live and work in another part of the world for a year and visit all the neighbouring countries with the money you earn. Test your limits and learn about yourselves and each other. If the 2 of you can successfully navigate this life stage together, growing in parallel rather than apart, you will have an incredibly strong basis for your future lives together. If you can’t - which is sadly the case for many relationships - a marriage licence won’t save the relationship, and if anything could lead to feelings of being trapped, regret, and ultimately resentment. I know that’s difficult to imagine in this exciting, head-over-heels in love phase of your relationship, but that’s the point - this phase will pass and only then will you find out whether this relationship can endure.

I know only 1 couple who have been together since highschool and are still happily married today in their mid 50s. They didn’t marry until their mid twenties and waited to have their child until after that. They’re one of my favourite couples and hands-down some of the best parents I know. Their relationship is lovely and they have raised a kind, thoughtful, independent child. They could successfully achieve this because they allowed themselves time and space to grow and experience the world, and had the financial stability and emotional maturity to raise a child well.

PS: This couple went to Paris for a year in their mid 20s, and I went to London for 2 years in my early 20s. I cannot over-emphasise what an incredible life experience something like that is. I expected to learn about the English - and I did - but I learned even more about myself and my home country, in a place where the unspoken, unconscious societal rules were suddenly different. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

My grandfather on my mom’s side owned a farm. My mom was a teacher with a lot more time off than my dad, so pretty much every school holiday we would stay with my grandfather for a while. There was no real structure, just go play outside, stay on the farm, be back for dinner, and let an adult know if you were going to walk to the neighbours (through the fields, nowhere near a road).

Oh, and don’t eat the mullberries! I always came back with purple stains everywhere, claiming I didn’t have any mulberries lol

There was a dam to go swimming, dogs and chickens in the yard, pigs, cows, maize fields, luzern fields, and what felt like endless long sunny days.

I don’t think it’s possible to relive that feeling of utter freedom as an adult, plus my grandfather passed away and the farm was sold decades ago now. Some things are better kept as memories, I think.

I’ve been following this community for a while now and have not yet found the courage to selfhost anything.

I find the answers generally either assume a lot of knowledge, or throw out a single solution provider (synology, nextcloud, yunohost). Neither of these approaches helps me advance the big picture overview that I’m lacking, or a way of evaluating what the best setup is for me. I’ve started drafting an overview document for myself with the vague idea of asking for feedback here but I’m not sure such a request would be welcome.

So, yes, I would be interested in a solution that makes self-hosting more accessible.

That 1st one is a bit mean 👀😂

Insurance mathematics and Swiss Insurance Regulations, baby (bet you’re all jealous now).

Also, learning German as an adult.

I really need some better hobbies

How to know when stats is taking over your life ☝️

That’s really specific

The reduced risk in STIs has been disproven, to my knowledge.

No-one is saying that this particular request is intended to be shaming. The issue is that regardless of the intention, OP feels humiliated.

The question was

Why do paternity tests feel like such an inherent accusation of low character?

The answer is that instead of society normalising it as a rational request, it’s often used as a weapon against women. Sucks for both parties honestly. It would be better for everyone if a paternity test was a legal requirement to add a man to any birth certificate.

A woman aged 40 today at least, potentially a woman aged 60 today.

Basis for 40:
The oldest people currently alive are all women around 115 years old, so if nothing changes, that would imply a women aged 40 today will be 115 in 2100.

Basis for 60:
Very old ages are tricky because so far, although we have dramatically increased the average lifespan, 120 has proven to be a hard barrier. We have a lot more people living to 116-118 years old, but as far as I know, only 1 person has been verified to live past 120.

However, just consider the tremendous leaps in medical technology between 1925 and 2000, and then the exponentially increasing nature of information technology. Longevity increases have slowed but there is a tremendous amount of research around it, so statistically it is highly likely that the next jump in longevity will take place in the next 75 years.

There was a presentation at an actuarial conference around 10 years ago, where the estimate was that the first person to reach 150 was already 50 years old. That would imply they would be around 60 today, and 135 in 2100.

This is the conclusion I reached too in a different context.

I see you’re on feddit.uk, so you might appreciate my experience. Probably TMI so feel free to ignore :) I moved to London from South Africa in my early twenties. South Africans are much friendlier and more open than the Brits, and I was raised to be helpful and kind to strangers, except I wasn’t used to the impact of public transport exposing me to so many strangers, or the difference in how people (mostly men) would interpret my behaviour. I had a large number of bad experiences, the worst one being a man following me off the bus one night, expecting to be invited into my home.

Anyway, 6 months after moving there I realised I was walking with my head down, unsmiling, avoiding all eye contact, and not allowing any conversation with strangers. I was miserable, so I made a conscious choice to be friendlier again but to learn to set clearer personal boundaries. It is much harder to look someone in the eye, recognise them as a person, and then say no in a kind but clear way. I’m still not perfect at it and have undoubtedly given away more money than I should have but I’m much happier with who I am.

Not an exception for me, I definitely use different accents for adulting / adulteration and adult. Maybe that’s a British vs US English difference?

The primary accent for 2-syllable words that are used as both a noun and a verb depends on the part of speech. The noun places the primary accent on the 1st syllable, the verb on the 2nd syllable.

Examples:
The musician records a record.
The farmer produces produce.
You’re not permitted to fish without a permit.

The next banking crisis will come with a struggling bank that can be bought.

I hope you’re wrong but time will tell.

Uh huh. I guess that depends on your definition of the word sell. In my view, making money by sharing my ad profile is selling my data. It might not be the raw, unprocessed data, but that doesn’t matter. No EU bank would be allowed to sell third-party ads on the web to their customers based on their personal profiles.

They also can’t “make their bank the default bank”. Unlike the digital world, the banking industry is very well established with lots of competition and money. The big banks have no motive to sell to big tech, and such a big transaction would draw a lot of attention. Anti-American sentiment is high in Europe. Does any bank really want to risk being in the headlines for allowing American tech companies in where regulators explicitly excluded them? Bank runs is how banks collapse.

Buying a bank would only give them access to their own client’s data, plus they would be subject to the stringent regulatory requirements of the banking industry. Banks have their faults but data privacy and security is not one of them.

In all seriousness, I think this is the right answer. Like anything in life, these words are tools, which some people use appropriately and others misuse to shut down a valid discussion.

Sadly that’s not true, apparently mosquitoes are very important to the ecosystem. Ze Frank did a True Facts episode on them.

I agree there are still technical challenges ahead, I’m just optimistic about innovation. There are a lot of companies investing heavily in this field, so there must be many technical experts who are similarly optimistic.

I’d also like to point out that current agricultural practices are heavily subsidised. Plus there are the unpaid environmental costs. If agricultural subsidies were no longer applied, and all businesses had to start paying an emissions tax, so that consumers paid the actual cost of farming meat, any financial comparison to cultured meat would look very different.

I don’t think it’s going to happen in the next 5 years, but 15 years from now? Maybe.