Found the middle management testing out their interview question about creativity.
Reflective inner surface that can double as a solar cooker.
That could be quite handy in a survival sitation, along with another posters suggestion that it can double as a tent in a pinch
keeps rain off my head
i’d probably just copy the penguin
Snack compartment
Was gonna say high capacity pez dispenser.
Unlimited budget? My tactical umbrella is capable of generating 5MW of electricity from cold nuclear fusion.
Then you will need a secondary umbrella for primary, watsr and electricity go boom boom together
Thankfully, being shaped like an umbrella, the design already accounts for this by directing rain away from the power output located at the base of the handle. It’s Type C!
With my unlimited budget, I have also funded research to increase the official USB-C PD spec to a frankly irresponsible five megawatts of energy throughput.
The clearance you need for 1 Megavolt means that you need something like 45ft between your terminals to avoid arcing. I suggest a slightly higher than 5A limit on your new USB spec
This has me cackling thanks
Ok, but can you hold it above your head?
Why wouldn’t they be able to? It’s an umbrella.
To be fair, since it is also a 5MW cold fusion reactor, it is also rather heavy, so one does need to be stronger than the average person. It’s the ONLY downside to this innovative product. It even folds!
I assumed that you wouldn’t ask for an umbrella that you, yourself, would be unable to carry.
Now that just seems a bit unrealistic, doesn’t it? Everyone knows nuclear reactors are quite heavy. Let’s not stoop to silliness.
What are you talking about? I don’t know they are quite heavy, so that means everyone doesn’t.
You’re right, I’m sorry.
My design is flawless otherwise though right??
Serves as a shield against small calibre bullets. Is able to accurately fire sniper rounds
Kingsman enjoyer?
I mean I was basically gonna comment the Kingsman umbrella lol. It just makes sense. They got guns, bulletproof, video screens, they’re strong as hell, and don’t they have swords in them too?
Thermal mask against FPV drones.
And a cool sword, that’d be sick.
To fight off said drones, no doubt
Its a Mary Poppins umbrella that floats you gently to the ground. And a laser shoots from the top.
Wouldn’t you want the lasers to shoot from the sides? How likely is there to be an enemy above you as you float to the ground?
Ergonomically, it makes more sense to hold it like a rifle when it’s folded.
Never folds the wrong way or moves unpredictably during strong winds.
Let’s air pass through, but only one-way? Could potentially use it to Mary Poppins out of a situation
It has a stash of termites inside that can be injected into wooden structures for very slow infiltration of wooden doors and structures.
Your enemies wont know what hit them.
If you did it today, it wouldn’t be the first. Here are some:
- The Unbreakable Umbrella is the first one I can recall hearing of. It’s heavy (775g) and made of a composite material the manufacturer claims is good for hitting people.
- The Streetwise Stunbrella conceals an electroshock weapon inside an umbrella.
- Security Umbrella is another umbrella marketed as suitable for hitting people.
- “Bulgarian umbrellas” are poison pellet guns built into umbrellas, intended for murder.
- Windlass Steelcrafts sells an umbrella which conceals a rapier. There appear to be several similar products from other companies.
“Stunbrella” is great. Top name. Slap a flashlight in the bottom of the handle, which can also be unscrewed off to unsheath a tanto-knife styled blade for piercing and prying (the flashlight end would essentially be the handle/pommel of this knife.)
A hidden button pops out saw teeth at the edges and starts the whole thing spinning. I will wade through this storm, of my own creation.
Might be the ultimate zombie weapon depending on battery life
1
Tactical hand-free design is essential.
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The top part detaches and is a drone.
the same as me, except it’s been in the army.
