I feel it is an obligation for any older folk to pass wisdom to those not-in-the-know of things regarding life. Some people are born directionless and they get lost in their lives and before they know it, they’re knee-deep in debt, they’re in awful minimal-wage jobs, they make poor decisions regarding their love lives .etc
I have several and my more prominent one is;
- Know Your Numbers
This is a key and must-have piece of knowledge. You must know your numbers. How much you’ll earn a month, how much your expenses are, how much is in your bank account, interests and much more. I don’t care if you’ve hated math growing up, you will need to know this. Because going off on guesswork and estimations, only gets you so far before you slip up. Once you slip up financially, missing a payment, you will fall behind faster than you’ll get back ahead or break even. As someone said, everyone is one car repair or medical emergency away from being in poverty.
- Do not get kids in your teens and 20s
Your teenage and young adolescent years, are better spent figuring out who you are and what you want to achieve. Recklessly getting kids with someone who you thought you loved or poor planning are reasons people end up paying child support and having to go to family court and having to deal with custody battles for the rest of their lives. Supporting a kid is $250k PER child, that’s the average, moreso because of the economy. Is it really worth the few minutes of sex at all for that expense?
- Avoid Jail
Going to jail, over anything, is a bad setback to have in life. If you think finding a job is hard normally with the way the job market is, it’ll be twice that if you have a criminal record. That is just shit not a lot will be ignored.
You’ll lose time, you’re likely to lose any jobs you’ve had at the time of going to jail, you may polarize family and friends even. It’s just not worth it, regardless. The more times you end up in jail too, consider your life over.
- Thrift and Thrift Away!
Thrifting can be a dirty word to some who prefer to get things new, which I understand. But it is a money-saver in the long run. For example, my apartment is 85% of thrifted items and I have a hard time recalling anything I’ve spent more than $10 for, aside from select things I bought new because I wanted them new, like some appliances.
Just try not to be a hoarder if it can be helped.
Everything feels like it happens so fast now and yet I have nearly no free time despite all this convenience. I did things one at a time and had to make an effort to do things like shop or go to the bank or pay bills or whatever. I cannot believe how many books I read and all the time I spent in the local library just browsing the stacks of all sorts of random shit; it was not routinely pared down to popular books, but had all sorts of odds and ends. I deliberately listened to music by putting a tape in the machine, and it was active listening. Radio was creative and beautiful. The local bar I spent time at was home to all sorts of burgeoning local bands. Food was not “small plates” at trendy bistros, but was sizeable satisfactory portions of ordinary food. A trip to the mall was an adventure, and my mall even had a library branch in it. You went to fish fry dinners at the Royal Canadian Legion on Fridays. One restaurant we used to go to we had to write our order down on a pad inside the kitchen, and the cook would come and slap your food in front of you. If you phoned someone and they weren’t home, you just phoned later on.
Nothing felt shitty and overly marketed and ads just existed and weren’t tailored to you. Television sitcoms lasted 26 seasons and you had to wait until next week to see the next one.
Even social media was better before Facebook, it felt organic and you made friends for life. Even early Twitter felt like this constant humorous conversation even if you didn’t agree with someone. Nobody was routinely crucified for misstepping in public (not that they shouldn’t sometimes). Things were definitely more generic but didn’t feel fake and marketed and inauthentic. Google was better and actually found things and didn’t just spit out a few results and then start adding unrelated things.
I’m not trying to sing the ballad of the boomer in B Minor; I appreciate convenience. I am tired of seeing bloated companies turn everything into shit. I want art and music and local watering holes to flourish. I want food to be good and satisfying. I don’t want every episode dropped at once. I just want things to slow down.
So my advice is slow down. Do one thing at a time. Go places and do one thing. Go to old restaurants. Go read paper books at the library. Go listen to a band at a bar. Do things. Don’t reduce it all to your phone. This is my goal for the new year is to do things.
Well said.
Go outside. Interact with real people.
Don’t listen to strangers on the internet
Volunteer. Social connectedness is the factor most correlated with happiness.
First of all, fuck you.
Second, how dare you?
My best advice? Stop considering 30 to be old.
I’m 48. I’m going to expend many of you here are white men much younger than me.
Some words if advice.
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Have kids young. You will never be ready. There is an old expression, “In for a penny. In for a pound.”. Either you like the idea of kids or not. If you do, don’t wait just do it.
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Romance. African women are 🥰. If they’re part of the Diaspora and like me you tend to be more if an introvert the juxtaposition can work amazing.
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Don’t forget the forest for the trees. Yes the world is on fire. Yes things are increasingly bleak and hopeless. Enjoy life. You have family and friends and they are still important and mean something. Cherish that.
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Everyone makes mistakes. What’s important is do you learn from them and how do you recover?
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Comparison is the thief of joy.
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Be different. Be contrary. Challenge. If everyone jumps turn around and look at the person telling you to jump but don’t do it blindly.
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First of all: rude! I dont want to think about climbing on 40.
Jest aside here are some things I always put off writing down from the back of my mind:
If you have the support structure, get children at the earliest point you feel somewhat comfortable - do you’ll be around each other for longer.
No table stands only on two legs - you should always cultivate three sets of skills that are potentially money earning.
Tend to your outlets - everyone should do something as an emotional, creative, physical and structural outlet. You also must avoid combining more than two. Always create something, never stop moving and always consider your self and others well-being.
Maintain your attention span - avoid inattentive use of fast paced media
Budgeting, learn it, do it, don’t overcomplicate it. There is no way to become rich fast and stay a decent person.
Strive to learn at least one other language - every language is like you unlock a new facette of your soul.
if you are truly down and out.
hop a freight train, travel with nothing but a backpack.
the world WILL provide
Life is a best effort. Make sure the people whose back your scratching are returning the favor.
Don’t get caught holding the bag, in fact don’t even hold the bag.
Finally, if you like weird fashion, just go for it. Shiny black clothes can look great on you if that’s what you actually like.
I take offence at 30 being old 😅
Well, i remember being like 25 or so, and i was out drinking. I met this guy and he was alone so we took him with us. We talked, had a lot of fun and everything and at some point i asked: how old are you. Because he kinda looked our age, maybe younger. He said: 32.
It blew my mind. I was like oh my god, this guy looks so young, and he’s ancient. We showed him around and asked random people to guess his age. Omg, can you believe he’s 32 and still up at 2am? Crazy i know.
I am now 40 years old, and find the thought of someone being 32 and old absolutely bizarre, but i do always remember that story. Also i’m now the 40 year old that gets shown around having people guess my age. I think i took over the curse.
Kill your masters. There is no future with them alive.
Try drugs. Do not get addicted to drugs. Seriously, all if them at least once.
Use drugs and kill people?
You need a break.
Oligarchs aren’t people.
Killer Mike get off Lemmy! Lol
I’d elaborate. Experiment with drugs. Youth is to experiment do it safely.
Try drugs. Do not get addicted to drugs. Seriously, all if them at least once.
I strongly disagree with this (apart from the not getting addicted part). Recreational drug use can be fine if done in moderation and responsibly, but there is absolutely no need to try any drug and some drugs are simply not worth trying at all.
No matter what people tell you, no you don’t need to try DMT or shrooms or whatever. Go for it if you really want to, but none of those experiences are unmissable and no drug can teach you anything you about life that you can’t figure out on your own.
Source: I have done a lot of different drugs and in retrospect none of them are as big of a deal as people make them out to be and plenty of them are straight up stupid or dangerous.
Edit: I should also add that some people absolutely should not do drugs. Especially people with certain mental issues, but also some people just don’t end up having a good time on some drugs. It’s not for everyone and that’s fine.
Can’t say I really disagree with you, but my caveat would be this: if you’re going to try drugs, know what you’re getting into. ‘A drug is a drug’ is a dumb statement you hear sometimes - not all drugs are created equal, and luckily these days we live in a world where a lot of great harm reduction information is easily available (for now, the future’s never guaranteed).
Know your substance, ~how it works, contraindications and best practices, common risks, what you’re hoping to get out of the experience, what you’d hope to avoid and how best to manage that. Prepare yourself accordingly, including frank reflection on if you really want to do it.
Used responsibly, some drugs can be useful tools - I agree that with psychedelics you can often reach the same kind of useful conclusions straight, but for some it can be a useful kick in the pants in the right direction. Sometimes (with a little experience under your belt and understanding of different dosages imo), they can be nice enhancements in the right environment. But know that there are risks you need to control for where you can, and actively accept if you cannot.
And a great little maxim coming out of talk re: psychedelics, though useful elsewhere: “When you get the message, hang up the phone”.
I agree with everything you said. If you’re going to take drugs, having unbiased, scientific information is super important. Just don’t let it fool you into thinking you’re above getting fucked up. Every time you take something, you’re taking a risk. Which isn’t a problem per se (we all take risks, all the time), but well informed, calculated risks are still risks and you need to think real hard whether it’s worth it.
I like drugs, but I tend towards psychedelics and do them more to explore than have fun.
And I’m really glad I have. It helps me understand not just myself but history.
That’s great and I’m glad you have a good experience with it. But, at least in my experience, looking back, psychedelic experiences aren’t as special as I thought they were at the time. Certainly not so special that I would advise everyone to try them. I’ve seen more than one person try psychedelics because they thought they were these amazing, spiritual drugs and then they just had a bad time and got nothing out of it. I’m sure some people do have life changing experiences, but for some people it’s just meh and for others it’s straight up horrible.
People are different and drugs affect people differently (especially psychedelics). And while stories of people thinking they are a glass of orange juice for the rest of their life because they took acid one time are surely way overblown, I’m sure a small number of people do get unlucky and give themselves lasting issues.
Telling people to try all drugs is just bad advice and if people take it to heart it will go badly for some of them.
Yeah that’s fun. But I bet you had people to tell you what to expect and how to be reasonably safe.
“Try all drugs” will get people to try Heroin or Fentanyl and fuck themselves up for life in an evening. Don’t do that. We have a responsibility towards each other, especially towards newbies.
I got way too much caution from people. Sources in my experience are usually chill enough.
Do with your own life whatever you want, but don’t give dangerous advice to people who may trust you and don’t know better.
If you’re all about fun, guess what, even just a bad trip ruins that too.
‘Bad’ trips can be fun too!
I’m about exploring what is and what could be. Then fun if there’s time.
I told you I don’t care what you do with your own mind and body.
But if you don’t care that you’re putting other people in danger of serious harm, then you’re a horrible person.
Read books, get off the internet.
It’s not easy.
Don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t use recreational drugs.
No sugar, no processed foods. Make all your own meals from the freshest ingredients you can afford, mostly vegetables. Food is not entertainment, food is not reward.
Avoid antibiotics in your cleaning products and food, so when you need them to save your life, they work better.
Exercise, move, get up off your ass.
Pay attention to your body, don’t avoid doctors because you don’t want bad news. The longer you wait, the worse it gets. The older you get, the more issues you have. Doing the previous things above, makes this part much easier.
Put yourself first, if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else.
If you’re romantically interested in someone, say “hey, I’m romantically interested in you”.
Do not have a “crush”, do not have a friend you’re secretly in love with, do not secretly pine for anyone. It is not interesting, it does not make you stronger, you are not the protagonist in a romance novel, and you are dumb if you want to try to “save our friendship”.
If the other person is not interested, say “Thank you for your honesty. It’s been nice knowing you” and move on with your life. Stop wasting time. Life is too short.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t waste precious time on imaginary scenarios.
Problem is if it’s a coworker to whom you’re interested in. A lot of people are hesitant to ask their coworkers for date because of the adage “don’t shit where you eat”.
